Sleepless in St. Paul

It's been a long time since I saw "Sleepless in Seattle," but I do remember that the premise was much more pleasant than this "sleeplessness."

A doctor asked me how her night was.  I had a one word answer - "terrible."  She could not get comfortable.  We had a pharmacy of medications in her starting at 10 pm, but it didn't scratch the surface.  She would be in one position and then ask literally seconds later to be "turned over."  She couldn't get into her preferred sleeping position - on her stomach as that was the worst.

So I spent the night asking God for ways I could help her.  I tried a number of things, but nothing worked for very long.  This morning she received some baclofen and oxycodone and viola! that calmed her for an hour.  Unfortunately, it didn't last long, but she's been more comfortable this morning than the entire night last night.

So today will be the day to advocate for increased medication to make her more comfortable.  She has a number of days left in the process and she can't afford to be "sleepless in St. Paul" for that many days in row.

This is the closest thing I've experienced to what God went through when Christ was sacrificed on the cross.  Watching your child suffer like that causes you to ask a lot of hard questions.  I truly believe that God is in control of everything, but I don't understand why it's necessary for a lot of the suffering in this world.  Oh I know there are good theological answers for all of that, but when you live it, NONE of those words are helpful.

We continue to cry out to God for mercy and comfort and strength for our Dolly.


If you can call it a "bright spot," we moved to a much larger room.  The space is definitely nice, but more importantly, we can get afternoon sunshine - if and when it actually shines.