Would you like to hear about my 'stressful' weekend? Of course you would, that's why you're reading this!
I put the word stressful in parenthesis on purpose. It was an intense weekend, but by comparison to serious issues facing so many people, this was nothing. Let me explain.
I was privileged to be an assistant coach of the Grasshoppers AA baseball team this summer. By doing this, I joined a coach we had last year (Jesse) who was amazing and I was able to coach my two youngest boys at the same time!
When Jesse and I left the draft, we felt pretty good about our team because we knew about 1/2 of our team from past experiences (and the fact that 3 of them were our boys). Of the remaining players, we had a vague idea of 1/2 of them from other coaches in the draft room based on their ratings. The last few players we didn't know at all.
When we got to our first full outdoor practice, we realized we were already in "mid-season form" compared to last year's team. We had a great group of kids who were willing to work a little and did well at listening (as well as 8-10 year old boys will listen).
When we finished our first game, it was hard not to wonder about how well this group would do. After all, we are in AA ball - an instructional league where we wanted ALL of the players to learn and improve. Nevertheless, I kept my 'wonderings' to myself.
As the season progressed we built a momentum that was hard to stop. We were midway through the season and still undefeated! We were all excited and the kids were slowly increasing the size of their melons. Not too bad, but enough pride that we had to do some talking from time to time about sportsmanship and being humble in victory.
Now please understand, that winning is not everything. Everyone on the planet loves a winner. And life is just a bit more fun when you are winning. But we really didn't want to emphasize an undefeated season. Our record and our great group of kids gave Jesse the opportunity to try some new things. He was able to allow ALL of the kids on our team a chance to play positions that they would not likely experience given different circumstances. The beauty of this is that ALL of the kids responded to new challenges. Maybe they had never pitched before or maybe they had never strapped on the catcher's gear. With a new challenge before them, they beamed and did quite well. After all, everyone needs a first time experience in order to learn how to do anything, and Jesse gave that to them.
The side result of experimenting is that we lost a game! My exclamation point means that this was a good thing! The kids were brought back to reality that they are human and that life brings losses. It was the perfect teaching moment to give them an understanding of what all of the other teams felt like when we had beaten them.
At that time of the regular season, I had no idea how 'important' that loss would be. It turned out in the end of the season tournament, we played that very team. Before the game, the other kids were pretty confident that they would beat us. Our kids played some good 'Grasshopper Baseball' and beat this team to put them in the losers bracket. But the story doesn't end there.
We met the same team 3 days after beating them in what could have been the championship. Since we were in the winners bracket, we only had to beat them once and we were the champs! It was an amazing game, played well by both teams, but we were not to be victorious that day as we lost 4-3 in the bottom of the last inning!
Once again, we had a chance to help the kids work through loss and disappointment. Yes, I was disappointed too. We were so close and yet couldn't get it done. The very next day, we played them again for a "winner take all" championship. Once again it was an exciting game (if you are a fan). If you are a coach or a player on either team, let's just say nerves were tight - exciting, scary, etc. But here's where one of the many good parts comes in...
...We had been teaching all year - be a good sport - play hard - be humble in victory and gracious in defeat. One of our kids who was still trying to grasp that lesson said to the entire team during the intense parts of the game "guys, we've had a great season, no matter what happens, we should be proud of what we've done." WOW, talk about a victory! This young man was vocalizing on his own what we really wanted to teach the kids. Did we want to win, yes! I mentioned before that it's fun to win, but if we didn't win, could we hold our heads high, be gracious and still have gotten positives out of the experience, a bigger YES!
I suppose you want to know what happened in the game. Well just a minute, because there's one more lesson. In the very last inning of the game with the championship on the line, the two kids that had to sit on the bench that inning approached me and asked 'Coach, will you sign this?' They were more focused on having their coaches and teammates sign a ball than really caring whether they won or lost. To myself I said, "Can't you see how close we are to the championship?" But I responded, "sure" and signed it while thinking, "They really have a better perspective on this than I do." I was proud of them.
And getting back to the game, we did manage to be victorious 5-3 in a full 6 inning game. We were able to celebrate being the champs! The other team was a great team and their kids played really well! Their coaches coached hard, and they were all gracious in defeat. It's one of those games where you really don't want anyone to lose.
Jesse gave me a gift that will be a prized possession for the rest of my life. He had all of the kids sign a ball and then placed it in a case. It sits on my desk where I will be reminded of the fun season we had, the amazing group of kids, yes the championship, but most importantly, the lessons I learned from the kids!
Showing posts with label Musings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Musings. Show all posts
Monday, July 22, 2013
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Where's the Fire (truck horns)?
Summer brings a lot of fun things - fishing, barbeques, swimming, fireworks, and parades. We had the chance to get to two parades this summer. I couldn't help but notice the contrast.
At the first parade, there was a lot of noise with the fire trucks blasting away, the bands playing loud songs and the various "floats" playing their music. The first parade came with boat loads of candy - tossed gently by the parade walkers. And finally some good old fashioned water spraying. A couple of the floats had the "heavy artillery" guns and shot at those who wanted to get wet. We had a great time!
The second parade was much, much more subdued. The fire trucks were silent! Silent! Have you EVER been to a parade where the firetrucks were silent? I hadn't until this last weekend. There were NO bands. Not a single one. There were some "floats" that had music, but they were pretty tame. And not a drop of water was sprayed.
Before the second parade, my son said, "but parades are boring!" That's not what he said after the first parade. Perhaps he was being prophetic, because the second parade was boring!
I can't help but think that we have become so OVER sensitive that we can't do anything fun because someone might be uncomfortable. Look, I have kids with disabilities and some things need accommodations, but quite frankly if the noise is too much, we either leave or don't go at all. I don't ask the rest of the world to quiet down just because one of my kids doesn't like noise. And water, oh my goodness! Are we all 'wicked witches' who will melt if we get wet? Seriously! If you don't want to get wet, MOVE!
If someone complains about the noise of the fire trucks, tell them to bring ear plugs. If someone complains about getting wet, tell them to bring an umbrella and let the rest of us celebrate!
At the first parade, there was a lot of noise with the fire trucks blasting away, the bands playing loud songs and the various "floats" playing their music. The first parade came with boat loads of candy - tossed gently by the parade walkers. And finally some good old fashioned water spraying. A couple of the floats had the "heavy artillery" guns and shot at those who wanted to get wet. We had a great time!
The second parade was much, much more subdued. The fire trucks were silent! Silent! Have you EVER been to a parade where the firetrucks were silent? I hadn't until this last weekend. There were NO bands. Not a single one. There were some "floats" that had music, but they were pretty tame. And not a drop of water was sprayed.
Before the second parade, my son said, "but parades are boring!" That's not what he said after the first parade. Perhaps he was being prophetic, because the second parade was boring!
I can't help but think that we have become so OVER sensitive that we can't do anything fun because someone might be uncomfortable. Look, I have kids with disabilities and some things need accommodations, but quite frankly if the noise is too much, we either leave or don't go at all. I don't ask the rest of the world to quiet down just because one of my kids doesn't like noise. And water, oh my goodness! Are we all 'wicked witches' who will melt if we get wet? Seriously! If you don't want to get wet, MOVE!
If someone complains about the noise of the fire trucks, tell them to bring ear plugs. If someone complains about getting wet, tell them to bring an umbrella and let the rest of us celebrate!
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Happy "License Day"!
On this 4th of July, I'm struck by where our nation is headed. We no longer value freedom, but instead put license up on a pedestal. As a starter, let's look at the definition of the two words.
Freedom: 1: the quality or state of being free: as
a : the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action
Examples of FREEDOM
He thinks children these days have too much freedom.
She has the freedom to do as she likes.
License: a. Lack of due restraint; excessive freedom: "When liberty becomes license, dictatorship is near" (Will Durant).
b. Heedlessness for the precepts of proper behavior; licentiousness (and licentiousness means: lacking legal or moral restraints; especially : disregarding sexual restraints)
At first glance, the words Freedom and License may appear to be interchangeable. But if you look closer, you will see a dramatic difference.
The definition of Freedom talks about the absence of constraint. So that means I can do whatever I want right? No. The dictionary goes on to say "Freedom emphasizes the opportunity given for the exercise of one's rights, powers, desires, or the like." This means that you have the opportunity to exercise your rights etc, but there's also an implied amount of restraint. License on the other hand is defined as excessive freedom.
Here's a practical example. We have speed limits in our country. And while few of us adhere to the 'letter of the law' and stick to the actual number posted, most use "freedom" to stay near the limit. A minority of people will use 'license' to drive at whatever speed they feel like. Freedom uses some restraint, license does not.
What I'm observing in our country is more disturbing than violating a speed limit. It's taking license with moral issues. I'll highlight two examples - abortion and 'gay marriage.'
In 1973 it became "legal" in the United States to kill an unborn child. The arguments for both sides have been debated ad nauseum so I won't delve into them here. Instead, let me point out that the 10 commandments are very clear - Thou Shalt Not Kill. We've taken license with abortion and justified it with arguments that make us feel better and now it's legal to kill an unborn baby. While it may be "legal" in the United States, that does not (and never will) change the fact that it is immoral.
In the last year, we have been overwhelmed with a push to 'legalize' 'gay marriage.' In fact, Minnesota has now 'legalized' such actions. The Supreme Court has overturned a law against 'gay marriage.' The fact that a state has made it 'legal' or that the Supreme Court does not agree with California's law, once again does not change the fact that it is immoral. If you read the Bible, it's once again clear in Romans 1:26 and 27 that God is not pleased with what we call 'gay marriage' but instead 'gave them over to shameful lusts.'
If you cannot bring yourself to read the Bible and accept the truth of it, that does not change the argument I am making here. Freedom comes with some restraint. License does not. We now have the 'license' to kill a child in the womb. As a nation, we are gaining the 'license' to practice more and more types of immorality because we have 'legalized' it.
I'm confident that many people feel better in their justification of committing immoral acts because they are legal. You may feel fine for a time, but if you search deeper into your soul, you will find that just because something is 'legal' doesn't make it 'moral.'
As you celebrate today, and call it "Independence Day" remember that being completely independent from God and his righteous limitations is not Freedom, but License. So call it what it is and enjoy your License.
Freedom: 1: the quality or state of being free: as
a : the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action
Examples of FREEDOM
He thinks children these days have too much freedom.
She has the freedom to do as she likes.
License: a. Lack of due restraint; excessive freedom: "When liberty becomes license, dictatorship is near" (Will Durant).
b. Heedlessness for the precepts of proper behavior; licentiousness (and licentiousness means: lacking legal or moral restraints; especially : disregarding sexual restraints)
At first glance, the words Freedom and License may appear to be interchangeable. But if you look closer, you will see a dramatic difference.
The definition of Freedom talks about the absence of constraint. So that means I can do whatever I want right? No. The dictionary goes on to say "Freedom emphasizes the opportunity given for the exercise of one's rights, powers, desires, or the like." This means that you have the opportunity to exercise your rights etc, but there's also an implied amount of restraint. License on the other hand is defined as excessive freedom.
Here's a practical example. We have speed limits in our country. And while few of us adhere to the 'letter of the law' and stick to the actual number posted, most use "freedom" to stay near the limit. A minority of people will use 'license' to drive at whatever speed they feel like. Freedom uses some restraint, license does not.
What I'm observing in our country is more disturbing than violating a speed limit. It's taking license with moral issues. I'll highlight two examples - abortion and 'gay marriage.'
In 1973 it became "legal" in the United States to kill an unborn child. The arguments for both sides have been debated ad nauseum so I won't delve into them here. Instead, let me point out that the 10 commandments are very clear - Thou Shalt Not Kill. We've taken license with abortion and justified it with arguments that make us feel better and now it's legal to kill an unborn baby. While it may be "legal" in the United States, that does not (and never will) change the fact that it is immoral.
In the last year, we have been overwhelmed with a push to 'legalize' 'gay marriage.' In fact, Minnesota has now 'legalized' such actions. The Supreme Court has overturned a law against 'gay marriage.' The fact that a state has made it 'legal' or that the Supreme Court does not agree with California's law, once again does not change the fact that it is immoral. If you read the Bible, it's once again clear in Romans 1:26 and 27 that God is not pleased with what we call 'gay marriage' but instead 'gave them over to shameful lusts.'
If you cannot bring yourself to read the Bible and accept the truth of it, that does not change the argument I am making here. Freedom comes with some restraint. License does not. We now have the 'license' to kill a child in the womb. As a nation, we are gaining the 'license' to practice more and more types of immorality because we have 'legalized' it.
I'm confident that many people feel better in their justification of committing immoral acts because they are legal. You may feel fine for a time, but if you search deeper into your soul, you will find that just because something is 'legal' doesn't make it 'moral.'
As you celebrate today, and call it "Independence Day" remember that being completely independent from God and his righteous limitations is not Freedom, but License. So call it what it is and enjoy your License.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Grasping the Wind
Think for a moment the last time you were successful at grabbing the wind and holding on to it. Hmm let's see there was the time in 1982 when I... No it was 1994 and I was... Oh wait, I'm being silly, you can't hold the wind!
Trying to grab the wind and hold on is the best way I can describe dealing with a concussion. Let me explain the injury and then I'll talk about trying to grasp the wind.
On Tuesday the 12th, Andrew was in the final minutes of a hockey game. He went into the defensive zone and blocked two shots. After the second shot block, he was on the ice (not hurt yet). He was lying on his back and his head was about 2 feet off of the ground - think about trying to do a sit up. As he was trying to get up, a kid from the other team took his stick and whacked Andrew across the helmet/mask!
Andrew got up and skated toward the puck, but then immediately turned around and headed to the bench. He was holding his head on and off as he skated toward the bench. He sat down on the bench and immediately fell backward off the bench! That's when I stopped shooting video and ran around the arena to his bench. By the time I got there, he had his helmet off, but was saying he was OK. After 30 seconds of saying "get your helmet on" the game buzzer went off and the game was over.
He went out and shook hands and then headed to the locker room. I immediately started asking the coaches 'what do you know about concussions?' At that point, I wasn't sure if Andrew has been seriously hurt or not, so I wanted to gather as much info as possible.
As we finished dressing, Andrew made an interesting statement. "What is Mom making for dinner?" It wouldn't have seemed like on odd statement except that we had eaten an evening meal before the game. I responded vaguely and asked him if he had eaten before the game. He said that he had and described a lunch type meal. This was the first blowing of the wind. I reached out, tried to grasp it and failed when I asked "what was it that we had to eat?" He called it 'Bird's Nest Pie.' We had a quiche. Hmm.
He said he wanted to go home and I said that would be OK. I asked him what day it was and he said "Saturday." It was Tuesday. Now the wind was really starting to blow. It was reasonable that he thought it was Saturday because most of his games had been played on Saturdays. I responded by saying "IF it was Tuesday, where would you go?" He mentioned something about playing games at church, but could not come up with the word "AWANA." At this point, we had a steady force going, with gusts increasing. I asked two more questions. "Andrew, how many brother's do you have?" With some hesitation, he said "5." He has 5 siblings, but only 3 brothers. The last question turned this into 90 mph straight line winds. "Andrew, who's the president." With more hesitation, he said, "Jefferson." I decided we were headed to Urgent Care.
We checked in at Urgent Care and the Physician's Assistant we saw did a typical neurological exam. Andrew seemed reasonably normal except that I knew he was very mellow. I showed her the video and then asked if I could repeat some of the orientation questions I had asked. When I gave her the correct answers to my questions and when she heard who Andrew thought the president was, she said, "You need to have him checked out more." We headed to Children's Mpls ER.
The first part of the ER was essentially a repeat of the Urgent Care. After the triage, he was brought to a room where the exam was much more detailed. He really checked out pretty well, except for the confusion part. All of his physical responses to tests were normal. He was partially oriented and was also being very resourceful. Every time they asked him "where are you?" he looked at my visitor badge and said "Children's." They decided to do a CAT scan. That test is non-invasive so he handled it quite well. The wind started to die down a bit when they came back and said "He has a negative CAT scan."
The other thing that helped the wind die down was the ER doc we had. At one point, he was talking "sticks" with Andrew - curves, flexing, brands etc. They actually lost me for a minute. At the end of the night, he said "Andrew, I played hockey and had concussions. You WILL be back on the ice, but it may take a while." For a moment I felt like the wind had stopped.
It didn't last long when they told us to follow up with the Concussion Clinic. The follow up wasn't going to be a big deal, only a few days a way, but the 2-3 week wait after the initial visit caused large gusts again.
Taking him home and not being 100% sure what the future held combined with having to wait 2-3 weeks to find out kept the winds swirling.
The visit to the Concussion Clinic was very underwhelming. I must have had high expectations of tests, questions and then a discussion of a treatment plan. I felt like they asked us more questions in the ER than they did in the clinic. And the treatment plan...do NOTHING for several days. Right. I'm supposed to get an active 8 year old to do NOTHING. No TV, reading, active games, video games, etc. Now that's grasping the wind.
In the days since the Concussion Clinic, we have worked hard to do NOTHING with Andrew. One of the caregivers for our oldest daughter came up with the idea of drawing tattoos on Andrew. He has everything from the MN Wild logo to "Hockey Rocks" to sticks all over his arms, legs and chest. It kept him quiet for several hours. He won't admit this in years to come, but he did spend some time decorating his sister's hair with various bows etc. He's managed to play some quieter board games that don't take much brain power. He's had his mother read to him - books that don't take much concentration - I might add. I let him sit and watch as I played with his brothers on the ice in our back yard. These were good activities, but most don't last long as he gets bored easily - more grasping the wind.
I had to take my turn at occupying his time so I decided that I would let him *listen* to videos on You Tube about "how to curve a stick" or "selecting the right sized stick." The more we listened, the more I was AMAZED at how much he knows about the primary tool of the game - the stick. I would pull up a video and he would say "Oh yeah, this is the one where the guy...." And he knows the difference between a toe curve and a heal curve on a stick. I didn't, but I do NOW.
On a side note, I realized that in a lot of his spare time before the concussion, he not only worked on his game, stick handling, skating, shooting, but he *studied* aspects of the game. I know he used to watch "hockey's best fights." When I told him to look into the *game,* he started learning how to do all kinds of trick shots. Some of them he can actually do on the ice. If you ask, he can tell you many different things about the stick, how to change it, who does what kind of change etc. He has more hockey knowledge than many adults who watch the game.
So all of this brings me back to my title "Grasping the Wind." This entire process has been 100% out of my control. I couldn't control his injury. I couldn't control the results. I couldn't control the time off and I definitely can't control him during his recovery. Oh sure, I can put some limitations on it and I can supervise him more closely (which I am doing), but we've already run into some incidents where he ended up doing some things that he really shouldn't - fortunately they were very short lived.
All of these things I can't control are very much like grasping the wind. I can't control it. I can't manipulate it. I can't even guide it. I can only feel it's effects. And that's what I'm doing during Andrew's concussion and recovery. I'm feeling the effects. I feel the effects of worrying about a second injury every waking moment. I feel the effects of not being able to watch him play for the rest of this season. I feel the effects of him saying "why can't I just...." repeatedly. And so, I stand in the breeze and feel it change from gentle to hurricane strength and all the measurements in between. While I'm standing here, I thank God, I mean really thank Him. Because while my world has been blown around since Tuesday, it hasn't come to the point of losing Andrew completely. I still have him to talk to, to hug and to laugh with and for all of those things, I am extremely grateful.
Trying to grab the wind and hold on is the best way I can describe dealing with a concussion. Let me explain the injury and then I'll talk about trying to grasp the wind.
On Tuesday the 12th, Andrew was in the final minutes of a hockey game. He went into the defensive zone and blocked two shots. After the second shot block, he was on the ice (not hurt yet). He was lying on his back and his head was about 2 feet off of the ground - think about trying to do a sit up. As he was trying to get up, a kid from the other team took his stick and whacked Andrew across the helmet/mask!
Andrew got up and skated toward the puck, but then immediately turned around and headed to the bench. He was holding his head on and off as he skated toward the bench. He sat down on the bench and immediately fell backward off the bench! That's when I stopped shooting video and ran around the arena to his bench. By the time I got there, he had his helmet off, but was saying he was OK. After 30 seconds of saying "get your helmet on" the game buzzer went off and the game was over.
He went out and shook hands and then headed to the locker room. I immediately started asking the coaches 'what do you know about concussions?' At that point, I wasn't sure if Andrew has been seriously hurt or not, so I wanted to gather as much info as possible.
As we finished dressing, Andrew made an interesting statement. "What is Mom making for dinner?" It wouldn't have seemed like on odd statement except that we had eaten an evening meal before the game. I responded vaguely and asked him if he had eaten before the game. He said that he had and described a lunch type meal. This was the first blowing of the wind. I reached out, tried to grasp it and failed when I asked "what was it that we had to eat?" He called it 'Bird's Nest Pie.' We had a quiche. Hmm.
He said he wanted to go home and I said that would be OK. I asked him what day it was and he said "Saturday." It was Tuesday. Now the wind was really starting to blow. It was reasonable that he thought it was Saturday because most of his games had been played on Saturdays. I responded by saying "IF it was Tuesday, where would you go?" He mentioned something about playing games at church, but could not come up with the word "AWANA." At this point, we had a steady force going, with gusts increasing. I asked two more questions. "Andrew, how many brother's do you have?" With some hesitation, he said "5." He has 5 siblings, but only 3 brothers. The last question turned this into 90 mph straight line winds. "Andrew, who's the president." With more hesitation, he said, "Jefferson." I decided we were headed to Urgent Care.
We checked in at Urgent Care and the Physician's Assistant we saw did a typical neurological exam. Andrew seemed reasonably normal except that I knew he was very mellow. I showed her the video and then asked if I could repeat some of the orientation questions I had asked. When I gave her the correct answers to my questions and when she heard who Andrew thought the president was, she said, "You need to have him checked out more." We headed to Children's Mpls ER.
The first part of the ER was essentially a repeat of the Urgent Care. After the triage, he was brought to a room where the exam was much more detailed. He really checked out pretty well, except for the confusion part. All of his physical responses to tests were normal. He was partially oriented and was also being very resourceful. Every time they asked him "where are you?" he looked at my visitor badge and said "Children's." They decided to do a CAT scan. That test is non-invasive so he handled it quite well. The wind started to die down a bit when they came back and said "He has a negative CAT scan."
The other thing that helped the wind die down was the ER doc we had. At one point, he was talking "sticks" with Andrew - curves, flexing, brands etc. They actually lost me for a minute. At the end of the night, he said "Andrew, I played hockey and had concussions. You WILL be back on the ice, but it may take a while." For a moment I felt like the wind had stopped.
It didn't last long when they told us to follow up with the Concussion Clinic. The follow up wasn't going to be a big deal, only a few days a way, but the 2-3 week wait after the initial visit caused large gusts again.
Taking him home and not being 100% sure what the future held combined with having to wait 2-3 weeks to find out kept the winds swirling.
The visit to the Concussion Clinic was very underwhelming. I must have had high expectations of tests, questions and then a discussion of a treatment plan. I felt like they asked us more questions in the ER than they did in the clinic. And the treatment plan...do NOTHING for several days. Right. I'm supposed to get an active 8 year old to do NOTHING. No TV, reading, active games, video games, etc. Now that's grasping the wind.
In the days since the Concussion Clinic, we have worked hard to do NOTHING with Andrew. One of the caregivers for our oldest daughter came up with the idea of drawing tattoos on Andrew. He has everything from the MN Wild logo to "Hockey Rocks" to sticks all over his arms, legs and chest. It kept him quiet for several hours. He won't admit this in years to come, but he did spend some time decorating his sister's hair with various bows etc. He's managed to play some quieter board games that don't take much brain power. He's had his mother read to him - books that don't take much concentration - I might add. I let him sit and watch as I played with his brothers on the ice in our back yard. These were good activities, but most don't last long as he gets bored easily - more grasping the wind.
I had to take my turn at occupying his time so I decided that I would let him *listen* to videos on You Tube about "how to curve a stick" or "selecting the right sized stick." The more we listened, the more I was AMAZED at how much he knows about the primary tool of the game - the stick. I would pull up a video and he would say "Oh yeah, this is the one where the guy...." And he knows the difference between a toe curve and a heal curve on a stick. I didn't, but I do NOW.
On a side note, I realized that in a lot of his spare time before the concussion, he not only worked on his game, stick handling, skating, shooting, but he *studied* aspects of the game. I know he used to watch "hockey's best fights." When I told him to look into the *game,* he started learning how to do all kinds of trick shots. Some of them he can actually do on the ice. If you ask, he can tell you many different things about the stick, how to change it, who does what kind of change etc. He has more hockey knowledge than many adults who watch the game.
So all of this brings me back to my title "Grasping the Wind." This entire process has been 100% out of my control. I couldn't control his injury. I couldn't control the results. I couldn't control the time off and I definitely can't control him during his recovery. Oh sure, I can put some limitations on it and I can supervise him more closely (which I am doing), but we've already run into some incidents where he ended up doing some things that he really shouldn't - fortunately they were very short lived.
All of these things I can't control are very much like grasping the wind. I can't control it. I can't manipulate it. I can't even guide it. I can only feel it's effects. And that's what I'm doing during Andrew's concussion and recovery. I'm feeling the effects. I feel the effects of worrying about a second injury every waking moment. I feel the effects of not being able to watch him play for the rest of this season. I feel the effects of him saying "why can't I just...." repeatedly. And so, I stand in the breeze and feel it change from gentle to hurricane strength and all the measurements in between. While I'm standing here, I thank God, I mean really thank Him. Because while my world has been blown around since Tuesday, it hasn't come to the point of losing Andrew completely. I still have him to talk to, to hug and to laugh with and for all of those things, I am extremely grateful.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Schwarzenegger isn't violent
We've all heard about the tragedy in Newton Connecticut. There are many ideas of what to do to prevent it in the future. All of us want to prevent it from happening again? Or do we?
Read this article:
"LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Arnold Schwarzenegger may be one of the world's biggest action stars but the former governor of California says violence in films is entertainment and should not be linked to tragic events like the Connecticut school shooting in which 20 children died.
The star of films such as "The Terminator," "Predator" and "True Lies" told a press conference before the opening of his new movie, "The Last Stand," on January 18th that "one has to keep (the two) separate."
"(This is) entertainment and the other thing is a tragedy beyond belief. It's really serious and it's the real deal," Schwarzenegger, 65, told reporters.
The actor, who will star in his first leading role in the film since serving as California governor for seven years, said the tragedy in which a gunman killed 20 children and six staff at the Sandy Hook Elementary School on December 14, is about more than just guns.
"We have to analyze how we deal with mental illness, how we deal with gun laws, how we deal with parenting," he said.
In "The Last Stand," Schwarzenegger plays a retired Los Angeles policeman who becomes a border town sheriff who must stop a violent drug lord from crossing the border.
The film, with its violent scenes, is the type of movie that National Rifle Association chief Wayne LaPierre recently cited as a contributing factor to the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting.
But Schwarzenegger said that gun laws and mental health guidance need reform, not Hollywood.
"How can we do better with gun laws?" asked Schwarzenegger. "If there are any loopholes, if there's a problem, let's analyze it ... Are we really dealing with the mental problems the right way as a society?"
In terms of parenting, the former politician alluded to the Connecticut killer Adam Lanza's mother, Nancy, who was also shot and killed by her own son on that tragic day.
"Does a mother need to collect guns and take her little kids shooting?" he asked.
"Everything has to be analyzed; no stone unturned," he added. "I think that's what we owe to our people." (Editing by Patricia Reaney)"
Shocking eh? The "Governator" wants to blame the guns and those with mental health issues. "Everything has to be analyzed.." he said, but NOT violent movies! Wayne LaPierre wants to blame the violent movies as a 'contributing factor,' but not access to weaponry that's meant for war. Neither of them wants to take responsibility for their contribution to the tragedy.
Aren't you tired of the blame game? It's absolutely ridiculous the way we keep pointing the finger at someone else when a serious issue arises. Congress and the president did it (and continue to do it) with fiscal issue. The Governor and Mr. LaPiere are doing it with violence.
It's tiring, sickening, and reminds me of children. Whenever something goes wrong and parents say "who did this?" What do you hear? "Not me! He did it!"
The reality is that if people don't bathe themselves in trash that comes from the screen or the computer - i.e. scenes filled with constant and overwhelming violence - they won't have crazy ideas in their heads. The reality is that if there were no guns, people couldn't get shot.
Sadly, we will always have violent movies and guns. We as a society don't want to ban things because we want freedoms. We want the freedom to express any idea we want - on the internet, in print, in film, in computer games - no matter how vile it is. We also want the freedom to carry guns.
Guess what? Those freedoms come with responsibility! The freedoms also come with negative consequences and tragically in some cases people die. If we insist on having these freedoms, how can we stop the nonsense? Think about it long enough and you will realize that we can't. As long as enough people are willing to pay money to see violence on a screen or in a computer game, someone else will make those movies or games. As long as we feel the need to have guns as citizens, then guns will be available to all - including the 'bad guys.'
So this isn't very good news is it? No. But it's reality. The Governor can quit pointing his finger at the guns and Mr. LaPierre can quit pointing his finger at the movies. They are both contributing factors. They are both here to stay. So Governor, Mr. LaPierre (and all of us), take responsibility for your actions and admit your part in the tragedies that will continue unfold around the world.
Read this article:
"LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Arnold Schwarzenegger may be one of the world's biggest action stars but the former governor of California says violence in films is entertainment and should not be linked to tragic events like the Connecticut school shooting in which 20 children died.
The star of films such as "The Terminator," "Predator" and "True Lies" told a press conference before the opening of his new movie, "The Last Stand," on January 18th that "one has to keep (the two) separate."
"(This is) entertainment and the other thing is a tragedy beyond belief. It's really serious and it's the real deal," Schwarzenegger, 65, told reporters.
The actor, who will star in his first leading role in the film since serving as California governor for seven years, said the tragedy in which a gunman killed 20 children and six staff at the Sandy Hook Elementary School on December 14, is about more than just guns.
"We have to analyze how we deal with mental illness, how we deal with gun laws, how we deal with parenting," he said.
In "The Last Stand," Schwarzenegger plays a retired Los Angeles policeman who becomes a border town sheriff who must stop a violent drug lord from crossing the border.
The film, with its violent scenes, is the type of movie that National Rifle Association chief Wayne LaPierre recently cited as a contributing factor to the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting.
But Schwarzenegger said that gun laws and mental health guidance need reform, not Hollywood.
"How can we do better with gun laws?" asked Schwarzenegger. "If there are any loopholes, if there's a problem, let's analyze it ... Are we really dealing with the mental problems the right way as a society?"
In terms of parenting, the former politician alluded to the Connecticut killer Adam Lanza's mother, Nancy, who was also shot and killed by her own son on that tragic day.
"Does a mother need to collect guns and take her little kids shooting?" he asked.
"Everything has to be analyzed; no stone unturned," he added. "I think that's what we owe to our people." (Editing by Patricia Reaney)"
Shocking eh? The "Governator" wants to blame the guns and those with mental health issues. "Everything has to be analyzed.." he said, but NOT violent movies! Wayne LaPierre wants to blame the violent movies as a 'contributing factor,' but not access to weaponry that's meant for war. Neither of them wants to take responsibility for their contribution to the tragedy.
Aren't you tired of the blame game? It's absolutely ridiculous the way we keep pointing the finger at someone else when a serious issue arises. Congress and the president did it (and continue to do it) with fiscal issue. The Governor and Mr. LaPiere are doing it with violence.
It's tiring, sickening, and reminds me of children. Whenever something goes wrong and parents say "who did this?" What do you hear? "Not me! He did it!"
The reality is that if people don't bathe themselves in trash that comes from the screen or the computer - i.e. scenes filled with constant and overwhelming violence - they won't have crazy ideas in their heads. The reality is that if there were no guns, people couldn't get shot.
Sadly, we will always have violent movies and guns. We as a society don't want to ban things because we want freedoms. We want the freedom to express any idea we want - on the internet, in print, in film, in computer games - no matter how vile it is. We also want the freedom to carry guns.
Guess what? Those freedoms come with responsibility! The freedoms also come with negative consequences and tragically in some cases people die. If we insist on having these freedoms, how can we stop the nonsense? Think about it long enough and you will realize that we can't. As long as enough people are willing to pay money to see violence on a screen or in a computer game, someone else will make those movies or games. As long as we feel the need to have guns as citizens, then guns will be available to all - including the 'bad guys.'
So this isn't very good news is it? No. But it's reality. The Governor can quit pointing his finger at the guns and Mr. LaPierre can quit pointing his finger at the movies. They are both contributing factors. They are both here to stay. So Governor, Mr. LaPierre (and all of us), take responsibility for your actions and admit your part in the tragedies that will continue unfold around the world.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Respecting Referees
As parents, we try desperately to teach our kids the right things - eat your vegetables, don't play with matches, look both ways before crossing the street, and respect the officials at the game. Huh? respect the officials? Yes, in youth sports, we talk to the kids about respecting the officials. Over and over and over I've heard the coaches say "don't argue with the refs."
Flip the page to the NFL in 2012. They are using replacement officials and there has been a lot of frustration surrounding them - blown calls, not following some of the rules, etc. Teams are in an uproar because they feel they were "cheated" out of a victory. The most notable is the Green Bay Packers loss to the Seattle Seahawks on September 24th on the last play of the game. After repeated reviewing by all of us, the official blew a call and it cost the Packers the game.
People are yelling - literally and via social media about "those terrible replacement officials." Some have used language that I won't repeat, others have ranted and still others have been just plain mean.
How then do we reconcile the mixed messages we send our kids? "Son, when you play sports, always respect the officials." With "When I watch the BIG game, I reserve the right to curse, berate, smear, and just plain hate the officials."
Let me offer some perspective.
Once upon a time, I was much more opinionated about my sports teams and the officiating at the games. I've been guilty of yelling (but not cursing) at officials for a bad call during a contest. It's not something I'm particularly proud of, but nevertheless it has happened.
Over the years, I've learned a thing or two from others and have changed my perspective on what officials bring to any sporting contest. The first thing I learned sometime ago from an article that pointed out at the end of a contest, the official goes home to his or her family. That article talked about the family members of the official sitting in the stands and being mortified as spectators used language for their loved one that no one would use on their dog! That article opened my eyes to their humanity and started to change the way I viewed officials at a contest.
The second thing I learned was from a coach that my older boys had. She has said for years, "If they didn't call it, it didn't happen." In other words, you can't change what the official did or didn't see so get over it. This taught me that the officials deserve respect, even when they are wrong.
A blown call is horribly frustrating. Ask Armondo Galarraga who lost a bid to have a perfect game for the Detroit Tigers in 2010 by a blown call from umpire Jim Joyce. Here's what the umpire said after the game, "It was the biggest call of my career," an emotional Joyce told reporters, "and I kicked it. I just cost that kid a perfect game." A perfect game is nearly impossible to complete and this one was taken by a human error.
As frustrated as he was, here's what Armondo said, "I feel terrible. I don't know why life works this way, but sometimes life just isn't fair for people. He's a good umpire."
Fast forward to August 2012. That same umpire with whatever names people wanted to call him in 2010 after the blown call, made the right call and literally saved a woman's life. From Yahoo Sports.com "Joyce, a 24-year veteran of the major leagues, used CPR to help save the life of a woman having a seizure. The woman, a game-day employee of the Arizona Diamondbacks named Jayne Powers, who joined the organization on its first day of existence in 1998, is said to be "doing well" Tuesday. But if Joyce had not stepped forward, who knows if she would have made it?"
I'm pretty confident that Jayne Powers is thankful that umpire Jim Joyce "made the right call" and didn't quit umpiring the day he made a mistake. If he had, maybe she wouldn't be here.
Officials make mistakes, but don't we all? Have you ever yelled at your kids when it wasn't their fault? Have you ever been speeding and didn't get a ticket? How about running a red light? The list goes on to infinity.
The tough part is that an official's job is magnified a thousand times by instant replay with cameras at almost every angle. The human official gets seconds (if that) to make a decision. The rest of us get to watch the play for as long and as slow as we want and then make our decision. How many of us could get all of the calls right with only seconds to watch the play and make a decision?
What are we going to do? Are we going to follow our own advice to the kids and respect the officials? Or are we going to curse, berate, and shout at "those blankety-blank officials until they see it our way?
Flip the page to the NFL in 2012. They are using replacement officials and there has been a lot of frustration surrounding them - blown calls, not following some of the rules, etc. Teams are in an uproar because they feel they were "cheated" out of a victory. The most notable is the Green Bay Packers loss to the Seattle Seahawks on September 24th on the last play of the game. After repeated reviewing by all of us, the official blew a call and it cost the Packers the game.
People are yelling - literally and via social media about "those terrible replacement officials." Some have used language that I won't repeat, others have ranted and still others have been just plain mean.
How then do we reconcile the mixed messages we send our kids? "Son, when you play sports, always respect the officials." With "When I watch the BIG game, I reserve the right to curse, berate, smear, and just plain hate the officials."
Let me offer some perspective.
Once upon a time, I was much more opinionated about my sports teams and the officiating at the games. I've been guilty of yelling (but not cursing) at officials for a bad call during a contest. It's not something I'm particularly proud of, but nevertheless it has happened.
Over the years, I've learned a thing or two from others and have changed my perspective on what officials bring to any sporting contest. The first thing I learned sometime ago from an article that pointed out at the end of a contest, the official goes home to his or her family. That article talked about the family members of the official sitting in the stands and being mortified as spectators used language for their loved one that no one would use on their dog! That article opened my eyes to their humanity and started to change the way I viewed officials at a contest.
The second thing I learned was from a coach that my older boys had. She has said for years, "If they didn't call it, it didn't happen." In other words, you can't change what the official did or didn't see so get over it. This taught me that the officials deserve respect, even when they are wrong.
A blown call is horribly frustrating. Ask Armondo Galarraga who lost a bid to have a perfect game for the Detroit Tigers in 2010 by a blown call from umpire Jim Joyce. Here's what the umpire said after the game, "It was the biggest call of my career," an emotional Joyce told reporters, "and I kicked it. I just cost that kid a perfect game." A perfect game is nearly impossible to complete and this one was taken by a human error.
As frustrated as he was, here's what Armondo said, "I feel terrible. I don't know why life works this way, but sometimes life just isn't fair for people. He's a good umpire."
Fast forward to August 2012. That same umpire with whatever names people wanted to call him in 2010 after the blown call, made the right call and literally saved a woman's life. From Yahoo Sports.com "Joyce, a 24-year veteran of the major leagues, used CPR to help save the life of a woman having a seizure. The woman, a game-day employee of the Arizona Diamondbacks named Jayne Powers, who joined the organization on its first day of existence in 1998, is said to be "doing well" Tuesday. But if Joyce had not stepped forward, who knows if she would have made it?"
I'm pretty confident that Jayne Powers is thankful that umpire Jim Joyce "made the right call" and didn't quit umpiring the day he made a mistake. If he had, maybe she wouldn't be here.
Officials make mistakes, but don't we all? Have you ever yelled at your kids when it wasn't their fault? Have you ever been speeding and didn't get a ticket? How about running a red light? The list goes on to infinity.
The tough part is that an official's job is magnified a thousand times by instant replay with cameras at almost every angle. The human official gets seconds (if that) to make a decision. The rest of us get to watch the play for as long and as slow as we want and then make our decision. How many of us could get all of the calls right with only seconds to watch the play and make a decision?
What are we going to do? Are we going to follow our own advice to the kids and respect the officials? Or are we going to curse, berate, and shout at "those blankety-blank officials until they see it our way?
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
"I've wanted this all of my life"
As a family, we watch TV so infrequently, because there's very little that doesn't annoy us or assault our morality in one way or another. We have, however, been fairly faithful in watching "America's Got Talent" or AGT to those of us "in the know." It's a reality type show that's actually worth watching. The acts vary from really, really awful (think a guy getting kicked repeatedly in his private area) to amazing - a guy whose creates and plays instruments that can only be described by seeing them.
Week after week, the show works to eliminate some of the acts with the ultimate goal of having one act named the winner. Week after week we hear various reasons of why an act should be voted for. I'm not against any act saying that they are "the best" or "we've worked so hard," or "I want this so much." What I find somewhat annoying is a 14, 15, or 16 year old who says "I've wanted this all of my life. This means the world to me."
This is annoying because when they say "I've wanted this all of my life," 14-16 years isn't really long enough to develop a serious want for a majority of kids in this country. Up to this point, mommy and daddy have been providing 3 squares, some sheets, a blanket and a bunk, along with a wardrobe that would cover an entire village in the poorest of cities and countries. In other words, they lack nothing and haven't been without any of the basic necessities needed to survive.
Furthermore by the age of 16 most kids barely know who they are. Most of them are trying to fit in at school, keep the zit count down to 3 or less or figure out if their best friend from last week still likes them.
Finally, by this age, they haven't been on the planet long enough to develop a serious passion in order for something to "mean the world to me." Passion comes from a deep, deep longing that is really only discovered after several very high and/or low life experiences and definitely comes after they have figured out a few things about who they are.
To be fair, I'm sure they really want to win the contest, but to say "I've wanted this all of my life. This means the world to me" is simply naive, immature and annoying.
By all means, enjoy your performances kids, but go home, live life a little bit and discover what it really means when you say "I've wanted this all of my life. This means the world to me."
Week after week, the show works to eliminate some of the acts with the ultimate goal of having one act named the winner. Week after week we hear various reasons of why an act should be voted for. I'm not against any act saying that they are "the best" or "we've worked so hard," or "I want this so much." What I find somewhat annoying is a 14, 15, or 16 year old who says "I've wanted this all of my life. This means the world to me."
This is annoying because when they say "I've wanted this all of my life," 14-16 years isn't really long enough to develop a serious want for a majority of kids in this country. Up to this point, mommy and daddy have been providing 3 squares, some sheets, a blanket and a bunk, along with a wardrobe that would cover an entire village in the poorest of cities and countries. In other words, they lack nothing and haven't been without any of the basic necessities needed to survive.
Furthermore by the age of 16 most kids barely know who they are. Most of them are trying to fit in at school, keep the zit count down to 3 or less or figure out if their best friend from last week still likes them.
Finally, by this age, they haven't been on the planet long enough to develop a serious passion in order for something to "mean the world to me." Passion comes from a deep, deep longing that is really only discovered after several very high and/or low life experiences and definitely comes after they have figured out a few things about who they are.
To be fair, I'm sure they really want to win the contest, but to say "I've wanted this all of my life. This means the world to me" is simply naive, immature and annoying.
By all means, enjoy your performances kids, but go home, live life a little bit and discover what it really means when you say "I've wanted this all of my life. This means the world to me."
Saturday, April 21, 2012
'Time is Now,' for Improved Services
You may have read the Fox 9 report on Friday April 20 regarding the Vikings Stadium. In it, the commissioner of the NFL, Roger Goddell, is quoted as saying "the time is now" for a Vikings stadium bill to get done.
Minnesota lawmakers were also quoted:
”The reality check is this is the year to do it,” Sen. Julie Rosen said. “We cannot wait until next year.”
"We cannot have this decision delayed another year,” said Rep. Morrie Lanning. “It's time for Minnesota to make a decision.”
It's interesting but I agree with their quotes. Yep, "the time is now," "The reality check is this is the year to it," "We cannot wait until next year." "We cannot have this decision delayed another year," "It's time for Minnesota to make a decision." What they've got wrong is the topic. It's not the Vikings stadium, it's providing adequate services to people with disabilities.
I agree that the time is now for Minnesota to make a decision about whether or not they value the citizens of this state that can not care for themselves or need assistance to navigate their daily lives. 'We can not wait until next year' as we watch single mothers struggle to make ends meet while trying desperately to care for their disabled child. 'We can not have this decision delayed another year' while individuals sit at home in their wheelchair waiting for someone to help them use the toilet because their PCA (personal care attendant) funding was cut or eliminated.
The NFL commissioner went on to warn the governor that inaction on the stadium brings "serious consequences" for both the Vikings and the NFL.
"Serious consequences?" What? like job loss or the team has to move? Yes those are hard things, but "serious consequences"? How about the serious consequences of choosing between food and medications? How about the serious consequences of getting a kidney infection that leads to kidney failure because you couldn't get to the toilet in a timely manner? How about the serious consequences of giving your child the wrong medicine that almost kills them because of severe sleep deprivation from being up for 36 hours at a time?
Come on commissioner, let's get real. Teams move. Look at the Browns, um I mean Ravens. Seems to me they were once in Cleveland. Hmm, I think that city now has a team called the Browns. Looks like even after all of the 'serious consequences' it worked out for two cities when the Browns moved.
Alright so I ranted about the stadium issue, but what about a solution for both parties? After all, I'm not in favor of folks losing their jobs even if it is related to football.
I can't believe that there isn't anyone in this state smart enough to come up with a proposal that will allow a stadium to be built AND get some additional funding for those folks who literally can NOT take care of themselves?
I keep hearing that there's no good way to structure the tax burden we will have to impose to get a stadium built. Why on earth does it have to be taxes? Look, either stadiums are money makers or they're not. Based on all of the talk, I'd say they're not. However, the owner of any sports team stands to gain a PILE of money if he/she can sell the team with a new stadium.
So instead of making the citizens of this state pay for the stadium, let the owners borrow the money from the state. I'm sure you've heard of the concept - take out a loan to build a house or make improvements on it. Then you have the owner pay back the loan WITH INTEREST. Take the interest from the loan and put it into programs for our most needy citizens.
This will make everyone happy - the owner and the team get a new home. The owner is set to make a PILE of money when he/she sells the team. The disabled get the services they need from the interest of the loan.
The commissioner is right - "The time is now." We need to take care of our most vulnerable and if the Vikings get to play their game in the process, I'm all for it.
Minnesota lawmakers were also quoted:
”The reality check is this is the year to do it,” Sen. Julie Rosen said. “We cannot wait until next year.”
"We cannot have this decision delayed another year,” said Rep. Morrie Lanning. “It's time for Minnesota to make a decision.”
It's interesting but I agree with their quotes. Yep, "the time is now," "The reality check is this is the year to it," "We cannot wait until next year." "We cannot have this decision delayed another year," "It's time for Minnesota to make a decision." What they've got wrong is the topic. It's not the Vikings stadium, it's providing adequate services to people with disabilities.
I agree that the time is now for Minnesota to make a decision about whether or not they value the citizens of this state that can not care for themselves or need assistance to navigate their daily lives. 'We can not wait until next year' as we watch single mothers struggle to make ends meet while trying desperately to care for their disabled child. 'We can not have this decision delayed another year' while individuals sit at home in their wheelchair waiting for someone to help them use the toilet because their PCA (personal care attendant) funding was cut or eliminated.
The NFL commissioner went on to warn the governor that inaction on the stadium brings "serious consequences" for both the Vikings and the NFL.
"Serious consequences?" What? like job loss or the team has to move? Yes those are hard things, but "serious consequences"? How about the serious consequences of choosing between food and medications? How about the serious consequences of getting a kidney infection that leads to kidney failure because you couldn't get to the toilet in a timely manner? How about the serious consequences of giving your child the wrong medicine that almost kills them because of severe sleep deprivation from being up for 36 hours at a time?
Come on commissioner, let's get real. Teams move. Look at the Browns, um I mean Ravens. Seems to me they were once in Cleveland. Hmm, I think that city now has a team called the Browns. Looks like even after all of the 'serious consequences' it worked out for two cities when the Browns moved.
Alright so I ranted about the stadium issue, but what about a solution for both parties? After all, I'm not in favor of folks losing their jobs even if it is related to football.
I can't believe that there isn't anyone in this state smart enough to come up with a proposal that will allow a stadium to be built AND get some additional funding for those folks who literally can NOT take care of themselves?
I keep hearing that there's no good way to structure the tax burden we will have to impose to get a stadium built. Why on earth does it have to be taxes? Look, either stadiums are money makers or they're not. Based on all of the talk, I'd say they're not. However, the owner of any sports team stands to gain a PILE of money if he/she can sell the team with a new stadium.
So instead of making the citizens of this state pay for the stadium, let the owners borrow the money from the state. I'm sure you've heard of the concept - take out a loan to build a house or make improvements on it. Then you have the owner pay back the loan WITH INTEREST. Take the interest from the loan and put it into programs for our most needy citizens.
This will make everyone happy - the owner and the team get a new home. The owner is set to make a PILE of money when he/she sells the team. The disabled get the services they need from the interest of the loan.
The commissioner is right - "The time is now." We need to take care of our most vulnerable and if the Vikings get to play their game in the process, I'm all for it.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
MN Vikings: That Doesn't Work for Us!
Perhaps you've heard that two Minnesota Lawmakers want to give the Metrodome to the Minnesota Vikings. What a brilliant idea! It's creative, it's new, it's fresh and it doesn't add a new tax burden to anyone in the state!
Unfortunately the Minnesota Vikings have said that won't work for them. They want, no they're now demanding a NEW stadium. "Even stadium opponents understand the facility no longer works for the team, our fans of the state," team spokesman Jeff Anderson said.
Well, Mr. Anderson, Mr. Wilf, Mr. Mondale and all the rest of you, do what the rest of us do, make it work!
It doesn't really work all of the people with disabilities that took a reduction to their budgets as of September 1st this year and will take another reduction July 1st 2012!
It doesn't work because they have less staff because the staff quit due to getting paid less, or they have to cut back in some other place just to take care of their family member who has a disability.
It doesn't work for those families who lost health care because the parents can't hold a full-time job because they're absent so much due to the poor health of their disabled child and they can't get state run insurance because they're just over the threshold to qualify.
It doesn't work for the adult children of aging parents who lost their home because the services that helped them take care of their parent were cut.
It doesn't work, but they make it work. They have no choice. They come up with creative solutions and have to find a way to make it work. It's time for you to do the same. You've been offered a gift. Take it. Christmas is here now. Take your gifts and be thankful.
Unfortunately the Minnesota Vikings have said that won't work for them. They want, no they're now demanding a NEW stadium. "Even stadium opponents understand the facility no longer works for the team, our fans of the state," team spokesman Jeff Anderson said.
Well, Mr. Anderson, Mr. Wilf, Mr. Mondale and all the rest of you, do what the rest of us do, make it work!
It doesn't really work all of the people with disabilities that took a reduction to their budgets as of September 1st this year and will take another reduction July 1st 2012!
It doesn't work because they have less staff because the staff quit due to getting paid less, or they have to cut back in some other place just to take care of their family member who has a disability.
It doesn't work for those families who lost health care because the parents can't hold a full-time job because they're absent so much due to the poor health of their disabled child and they can't get state run insurance because they're just over the threshold to qualify.
It doesn't work for the adult children of aging parents who lost their home because the services that helped them take care of their parent were cut.
It doesn't work, but they make it work. They have no choice. They come up with creative solutions and have to find a way to make it work. It's time for you to do the same. You've been offered a gift. Take it. Christmas is here now. Take your gifts and be thankful.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Dangers in Facebook
In earlier posts, I made the argument that things like drugs, pornography and even Facebook CAN banned inside our homes. In making the argument about banning things, There's been one comeback I'd like to address. That comeback is "You can't compare Facebook to drugs or porn." Well, I would disagree. First of all, Facebook has porn available all the time. Oh no, not the hard stuff, but take a look at all of those pictures posted and you're sure to find at least one person wearing something that leaves little to the imagination. And comparing it to drugs, that's a slam dunk. It's already been written about that Facebook has been found to be addicting.
But whether or not you agree that Facebook and drugs or porn are the similar, there's still significant dangers for letting a child use Facebook or any other social media.
1. Most children do not have the ability to think into the future. They will not be able to understand that what they write today will be seen by a potential employer in a few years. Let's not forget that many of the kids hope to be married some day. How will that conversation go with the future Mrs. or Mr. when they have to explain why a picture of such and such or why a post stating this and that was on their Facebook page?
2. Many, Many, Many people online are not who they say they are. Don't think your kid will talk to that creepy guy? You haven't seen enough 20/20 type shows.
3. Data is mined. Huh? You mean someone is watching my child? Oh yeah. Any idea why those ads started showing up in your email? Who's email address did they open the account with? Almost every story about what happens to Facebook data is BAD. 'They lost this set of data' or 'someone stole that set of data.' If you put in on the web - even in this blog, EVERYONE can see it and a LOT of people can get it.
4. The more the kids are using social media for relationships, the poorer those relationships are in the long run. You can't possibly interpret body language and voice inflection from reading a post or even looking at a photo - no matter how many emoticons you use. :) ;) :0
Perhaps none of the above concerns you. Well, it does me. I've watched or read the stories over and over and over how someone's life is impacted or even ruined and Facebook played a large part in those disasters. I plan to both protect and educate my children on the dangers of being involved with such a medium as Facebook. I'm not necessarily popular, but my family is also not suffering the ill effects of being involved with it.
But whether or not you agree that Facebook and drugs or porn are the similar, there's still significant dangers for letting a child use Facebook or any other social media.
1. Most children do not have the ability to think into the future. They will not be able to understand that what they write today will be seen by a potential employer in a few years. Let's not forget that many of the kids hope to be married some day. How will that conversation go with the future Mrs. or Mr. when they have to explain why a picture of such and such or why a post stating this and that was on their Facebook page?
2. Many, Many, Many people online are not who they say they are. Don't think your kid will talk to that creepy guy? You haven't seen enough 20/20 type shows.
3. Data is mined. Huh? You mean someone is watching my child? Oh yeah. Any idea why those ads started showing up in your email? Who's email address did they open the account with? Almost every story about what happens to Facebook data is BAD. 'They lost this set of data' or 'someone stole that set of data.' If you put in on the web - even in this blog, EVERYONE can see it and a LOT of people can get it.
4. The more the kids are using social media for relationships, the poorer those relationships are in the long run. You can't possibly interpret body language and voice inflection from reading a post or even looking at a photo - no matter how many emoticons you use. :) ;) :0
Perhaps none of the above concerns you. Well, it does me. I've watched or read the stories over and over and over how someone's life is impacted or even ruined and Facebook played a large part in those disasters. I plan to both protect and educate my children on the dangers of being involved with such a medium as Facebook. I'm not necessarily popular, but my family is also not suffering the ill effects of being involved with it.
Yes, you can ban Facebook, part II
... Previously I talked about banning things in the home and some of the arguments against having a ban on a particular activity like Facebook, or the content of something like TV.
Another way parents get around banning something is to say "If my child is doing it, I'll just do it so I can monitor them."
Try using the argument regarding Facebook that sounds like this, "My child has a Facebook account so I need one to monitor him/her" and then replace Facebook with pornography or drugs. It would sound like this: "My son views pornography, so the best way for me to understand him is to view it myself." Or, "my daughter is smoking pot. The best way for me to understand her is to smoke it myself." REALLY?
Where does the idea come from that if a child is doing it, we as parents must be the followers and do the same? I would not allow myself to try drugs or view pornography on my own. So why would I do it just because my child was doing it? Going back to social media - why would I have to be on Facebook or any other social media just because I learned that my child is on it? Hmmm, I guess I don't, do I?
There is an argument that completely banning something can make it more tempting. I agree that this could be true, but by banning something, it also tells our children what we stand for. We can say to our kids, "We ban drugs, because we know how harmful they are for you." We can also say "We ban Facebook because there are many dangers in using Facebook that you are not aware of." (A topic for another post)
The crux of this discussion is "who's in charge?" Are we, the parents leading the way? Or are our children and society taking control?
Coincidentally, I read an opinion piece that has a different topic - How children dress - but it addresses the same argument of who's in charge. You can read the whole article here, but I will quote the part I found most interesting:
"I don't care how popular Lil' Wayne is, my son knows I would break both of his legs long before I would allow him to walk out of the house with his pants falling off his butt. Such a stance doesn't always makes me popular -- and the house does get tense from time to time -- but I'm his father, not his friend.
Friends bow to peer pressure. Parents say, "No, and that's the end of it."
The way I see it, my son can go to therapy later if my strict rules have scarred him. But I have peace knowing he'll be able to afford therapy as an adult because I didn't allow him to wear or do whatever he wanted as a kid."
Now that's a dad that's setting a standard! Eventually, therapy or not, his son will thank him for at least setting a standard. He will thank him because kids are always pushing against the boundaries or rules to see if we will stand firm and uphold them. They aren't just testing us. They actually want the boundaries so they will feel safe! Believe it or not, they really want boundaries, but the only way to see if they exist is to test them.
The bottom line of my last two posts is that as parents we can and should set standards. Is it hard work? Absolutely. Are we often alone. You bet. Are "bans" necessary some times? Oh yes.
So we have to ask ourselves - Do we want our kids merely to be our friends? Or are we more concerned about setting a firm foundation in their hearts as we work to build moral character while working on a relationship with them?
I'm with the dad in that article.
Another way parents get around banning something is to say "If my child is doing it, I'll just do it so I can monitor them."
Try using the argument regarding Facebook that sounds like this, "My child has a Facebook account so I need one to monitor him/her" and then replace Facebook with pornography or drugs. It would sound like this: "My son views pornography, so the best way for me to understand him is to view it myself." Or, "my daughter is smoking pot. The best way for me to understand her is to smoke it myself." REALLY?
Where does the idea come from that if a child is doing it, we as parents must be the followers and do the same? I would not allow myself to try drugs or view pornography on my own. So why would I do it just because my child was doing it? Going back to social media - why would I have to be on Facebook or any other social media just because I learned that my child is on it? Hmmm, I guess I don't, do I?
There is an argument that completely banning something can make it more tempting. I agree that this could be true, but by banning something, it also tells our children what we stand for. We can say to our kids, "We ban drugs, because we know how harmful they are for you." We can also say "We ban Facebook because there are many dangers in using Facebook that you are not aware of." (A topic for another post)
The crux of this discussion is "who's in charge?" Are we, the parents leading the way? Or are our children and society taking control?
Coincidentally, I read an opinion piece that has a different topic - How children dress - but it addresses the same argument of who's in charge. You can read the whole article here, but I will quote the part I found most interesting:
"I don't care how popular Lil' Wayne is, my son knows I would break both of his legs long before I would allow him to walk out of the house with his pants falling off his butt. Such a stance doesn't always makes me popular -- and the house does get tense from time to time -- but I'm his father, not his friend.
Friends bow to peer pressure. Parents say, "No, and that's the end of it."
The way I see it, my son can go to therapy later if my strict rules have scarred him. But I have peace knowing he'll be able to afford therapy as an adult because I didn't allow him to wear or do whatever he wanted as a kid."
Now that's a dad that's setting a standard! Eventually, therapy or not, his son will thank him for at least setting a standard. He will thank him because kids are always pushing against the boundaries or rules to see if we will stand firm and uphold them. They aren't just testing us. They actually want the boundaries so they will feel safe! Believe it or not, they really want boundaries, but the only way to see if they exist is to test them.
The bottom line of my last two posts is that as parents we can and should set standards. Is it hard work? Absolutely. Are we often alone. You bet. Are "bans" necessary some times? Oh yes.
So we have to ask ourselves - Do we want our kids merely to be our friends? Or are we more concerned about setting a firm foundation in their hearts as we work to build moral character while working on a relationship with them?
I'm with the dad in that article.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Yes, you can ban Facebook!
I recently read some discussion about how much to control our kid's access to social media. The focus was on the question, "What do we do about access to Facebook?" Several items were written stating that the parents felt there was no way to ban social media at home.
I find it interesting that many parents think that they can not ban things in their own homes. The arguments used sound like this. "They'll just do it when I'm gone." or "They have friends to help them do it." Yep, those are very true statements, but that shouldn't prevent us from setting precedents in our homes - even if it means banning something.
It is a very hard thing to try and ban anything. If you ban something at home kids can and do access it elsewhere. But it is also true with: content on TV and radio, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, pornography, and the list goes on. Most people ban drugs and porn. Others are mixed on alcohol and cigarettes. TV and radio are perhaps the closest thing to social media since they are content based.
By way of example, we have bans on many things in our home: TV, radio, and internet content, drugs, porn, and cigarettes. Once in a blue moon you might find alcohol in our home (and no, we don't share it with the kids).
So we've set a precedent and started with the standard that those items are banned in our home. We don't merely ban something. We communicate with our kids why we don't think it's a great idea for them to view, use, or participate in the things we've banned. (Side note: we don't use the word ban. We merely say we don't watch that or we don't participate in that.)
We also communicate that we don't want them to participate in those things when they are not at home. Do they always follow the rules? No. But do we always come back to the standard when we learn of their participation in a banned activity or content? Yes. That's where we start the discussion and work toward an understanding of why we've banned those things at home in the first place.
Do they follow the rules some of the time? Yes. And they talk about how good it felt to say to their friends something like "I'm not going to watch that because it's has things in it that aren't good for me to see." OR "I have to check with my parents before I play that video game." They're proud of themselves for standing up for something the family values at our home. We also use those times to praise them and teach them how good it is to stand up for the values of your family.
To be continued...
I find it interesting that many parents think that they can not ban things in their own homes. The arguments used sound like this. "They'll just do it when I'm gone." or "They have friends to help them do it." Yep, those are very true statements, but that shouldn't prevent us from setting precedents in our homes - even if it means banning something.
It is a very hard thing to try and ban anything. If you ban something at home kids can and do access it elsewhere. But it is also true with: content on TV and radio, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, pornography, and the list goes on. Most people ban drugs and porn. Others are mixed on alcohol and cigarettes. TV and radio are perhaps the closest thing to social media since they are content based.
By way of example, we have bans on many things in our home: TV, radio, and internet content, drugs, porn, and cigarettes. Once in a blue moon you might find alcohol in our home (and no, we don't share it with the kids).
So we've set a precedent and started with the standard that those items are banned in our home. We don't merely ban something. We communicate with our kids why we don't think it's a great idea for them to view, use, or participate in the things we've banned. (Side note: we don't use the word ban. We merely say we don't watch that or we don't participate in that.)
We also communicate that we don't want them to participate in those things when they are not at home. Do they always follow the rules? No. But do we always come back to the standard when we learn of their participation in a banned activity or content? Yes. That's where we start the discussion and work toward an understanding of why we've banned those things at home in the first place.
Do they follow the rules some of the time? Yes. And they talk about how good it felt to say to their friends something like "I'm not going to watch that because it's has things in it that aren't good for me to see." OR "I have to check with my parents before I play that video game." They're proud of themselves for standing up for something the family values at our home. We also use those times to praise them and teach them how good it is to stand up for the values of your family.
To be continued...
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Food Perspectives
Today was an interesting day in contrasts with regard to food.
I started my day at Andover Elementary where I volunteered to assist the kids in packing food for Haiti.
I had fun doing it.
I was a volunteer.
I worked with my kids.
I worked for 3 hours.
The food we packed was basic stuff - soy, flavoring, nutrients and rice.
By the end of the time it was reported that the entire team had packed enough food to feed 29,000 people!
I ended my day at a taste test.
I had fun doing it.
I was paid a small stipend.
I sat by myself.
I worked for 30 minutes.
The food I tasted was not basic.
By the end of the time, I was full and no one else benefitted.
It struck me as quite the contrast in the world of food. The amount I was paid in the test was the same amount that it cost to make, pack and ship enough meals for one person for 7 months!
Wow. What a difference in activities! How fortunate we really are to live here!
I started my day at Andover Elementary where I volunteered to assist the kids in packing food for Haiti.
I had fun doing it.
I was a volunteer.
I worked with my kids.
I worked for 3 hours.
The food we packed was basic stuff - soy, flavoring, nutrients and rice.
By the end of the time it was reported that the entire team had packed enough food to feed 29,000 people!
I ended my day at a taste test.
I had fun doing it.
I was paid a small stipend.
I sat by myself.
I worked for 30 minutes.
The food I tasted was not basic.
By the end of the time, I was full and no one else benefitted.
It struck me as quite the contrast in the world of food. The amount I was paid in the test was the same amount that it cost to make, pack and ship enough meals for one person for 7 months!
Wow. What a difference in activities! How fortunate we really are to live here!
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Another Tourney II
The last post was on the front side of the Adapted Floor Hockey Tournament. Now we're on the back side of it having spent two days screaming our brains out in support of the Mustangs. It was an extremely fun time as all of the kids played well! Oh and yes we did manage to capture that coveted title of "State Champion."
I could recap the events of each game, but you can look at the Minnesota State High School League site if you want the recaps.
What I really want to highlight are two items not specific to the games.
First, I was struck in worship at church today by the contrast in a worship service and a sporting event. In our tournament games, we were all cheering and jumping and supporting and praising our kids. We used an enormous amount of energy to attempt to will them to a victory. When we saw that last goal hit the back of the net, we all rose to our feet and roared our approval. As each player was announced as a part of the State Championship team, we continued our praise. The kids had reached the coveted prize and we were there to celebrate with them.
In the worship service this morning some of the words jumped out at me. Things like "the seas will roar" or "the rocks will cry out" or "the moon and the stars declare who you are." The creation is cheering and praising the God of the universe. By singing praise, I was joining the creation that is cheering and praising the God of the universe.
The interesting part to me was that I saw cheering for my kids (and other sports teams) in a new light. I spent that energy (and if you don't know how much energy I spend at a tournament as anyone who sits near me) cheering and supporting and praising the kids as they worked toward a temporary prize. Yes it was an important achievement for them. They dug down deep to work past exhaustion and obtain the goal. But that prize, as important as it is to them (and yes to us as parents and grandparents) pales in comparison to a permanent prize.
The permanent prize I am referring to is spending eternity with the God who made us in His image. Jesus won that permanent prize for us when He gave Himself up and died on the cross for all of our sins. A worship service is an event similar to a tournament game. The slight difference is that the prize has already been won. We cheer our God and praise Him for giving us a permanent prize - life eternal.
When I looked at a worship service through the parallel of a sporting event, I found that I wanted to sing louder, clap harder and jump up and down in praise to our God for that permanent prize.
I plan to continue to cheer for my kids and their sports teams to obtain prizes even if they are temporary. I also plan to cheer for my God and the permanent prize he has won for us.
The second big thing was how my son, Josh reacted to a statement I made after the tournament. I was discussing with him the victory and how well he had played. I told him the only sad part for me was that one of his teammates did not get named to the "All-Tournament" team. Without missing a beat, Josh said "Well I could give him one of my plaques. I have 3 of them." In one sense I was stunned, but at the same time I wasn't because that's Josh. He is extremely generous.
I told him that it was a nice idea, but that I wanted him to think about it. I really had not thought that he might react that way I was merely commenting that his teammate had been deserving of the honor as well. (I had also heard from others that they felt the same way). The next day, Josh got up and said he had decided he would give the plaque to his teammate. So he went to church, took his teammate aside and gave him the plaque.
All of his accomplishments in the tournament paled in comparison to his thoughtfulness and generosity toward his teammate. I'd love to tell you that I taught Josh how do be like that, but I didn't. He does it on his own with the gifts God has given him. Oh that we could all be more generous like Josh.
What a privilege it has been to be a part of these experiences these last few days.
I could recap the events of each game, but you can look at the Minnesota State High School League site if you want the recaps.
What I really want to highlight are two items not specific to the games.
First, I was struck in worship at church today by the contrast in a worship service and a sporting event. In our tournament games, we were all cheering and jumping and supporting and praising our kids. We used an enormous amount of energy to attempt to will them to a victory. When we saw that last goal hit the back of the net, we all rose to our feet and roared our approval. As each player was announced as a part of the State Championship team, we continued our praise. The kids had reached the coveted prize and we were there to celebrate with them.
In the worship service this morning some of the words jumped out at me. Things like "the seas will roar" or "the rocks will cry out" or "the moon and the stars declare who you are." The creation is cheering and praising the God of the universe. By singing praise, I was joining the creation that is cheering and praising the God of the universe.
The interesting part to me was that I saw cheering for my kids (and other sports teams) in a new light. I spent that energy (and if you don't know how much energy I spend at a tournament as anyone who sits near me) cheering and supporting and praising the kids as they worked toward a temporary prize. Yes it was an important achievement for them. They dug down deep to work past exhaustion and obtain the goal. But that prize, as important as it is to them (and yes to us as parents and grandparents) pales in comparison to a permanent prize.
The permanent prize I am referring to is spending eternity with the God who made us in His image. Jesus won that permanent prize for us when He gave Himself up and died on the cross for all of our sins. A worship service is an event similar to a tournament game. The slight difference is that the prize has already been won. We cheer our God and praise Him for giving us a permanent prize - life eternal.
When I looked at a worship service through the parallel of a sporting event, I found that I wanted to sing louder, clap harder and jump up and down in praise to our God for that permanent prize.
I plan to continue to cheer for my kids and their sports teams to obtain prizes even if they are temporary. I also plan to cheer for my God and the permanent prize he has won for us.
The second big thing was how my son, Josh reacted to a statement I made after the tournament. I was discussing with him the victory and how well he had played. I told him the only sad part for me was that one of his teammates did not get named to the "All-Tournament" team. Without missing a beat, Josh said "Well I could give him one of my plaques. I have 3 of them." In one sense I was stunned, but at the same time I wasn't because that's Josh. He is extremely generous.
I told him that it was a nice idea, but that I wanted him to think about it. I really had not thought that he might react that way I was merely commenting that his teammate had been deserving of the honor as well. (I had also heard from others that they felt the same way). The next day, Josh got up and said he had decided he would give the plaque to his teammate. So he went to church, took his teammate aside and gave him the plaque.
All of his accomplishments in the tournament paled in comparison to his thoughtfulness and generosity toward his teammate. I'd love to tell you that I taught Josh how do be like that, but I didn't. He does it on his own with the gifts God has given him. Oh that we could all be more generous like Josh.
What a privilege it has been to be a part of these experiences these last few days.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Another Tourney
A month ago I was writing about tragedies in life - poverty, earthquakes, early deaths etc. Now as I sit here, our family is anticipating another state tournament in adapted floor hockey.
What's interesting to me is the amount of energy I (and many others) put into the up coming games. We read about the opponents, we talk about who we'd rather face, we prepare celebrations, we honor our kids for their hard work so far and we get nervous! Yes nervous! Why? I don't really know. Everyone likes to be on a winning team, but when you compare a sporting event with the more serious topics poverty and death, it really doesn't belong on the same page.
A bunch of kids from several teams are going to gather at one place and duke it out for the honor of "State Champ." Don't get me wrong, it's a great honor and it shows a dedication to a lot of hard work. But in the light of those more serious topics, it fades so quickly.
I am mashing this around in my head because I recall our first state tournament. We had never been there before and I had never played a sport so I had no expectations whatsoever. I was merely thrilled to be there. I remember talking with the coach briefly about the upcoming games and trying to size up our chances of any kind of success. It turned out that we not only had a good chance, we were "State Champs" that year.
This year with 3 tournaments under our belt and 2 previous championships, I find my nerves getting to me if I think too far ahead. The sad part about this is that if I don't get them under control, I am going to miss the excitement of simply being at the tournament. On the other hand, I get the nerves because we've had a successful regular season and we do have a legitimate shot at that coveted title again.
I've watched the kids go through these before and I prefer their attitude to some extent. In most games, win or lose, about 10 minutes after the game they're back to just being kids. They leave that emotional baggage on the floor and go on with life as if they'd never been in a heated contest.
So here's to a good tournament for every team, a fun time for all the parents, family and friends and may the best team come home "State Champs."
What's interesting to me is the amount of energy I (and many others) put into the up coming games. We read about the opponents, we talk about who we'd rather face, we prepare celebrations, we honor our kids for their hard work so far and we get nervous! Yes nervous! Why? I don't really know. Everyone likes to be on a winning team, but when you compare a sporting event with the more serious topics poverty and death, it really doesn't belong on the same page.
A bunch of kids from several teams are going to gather at one place and duke it out for the honor of "State Champ." Don't get me wrong, it's a great honor and it shows a dedication to a lot of hard work. But in the light of those more serious topics, it fades so quickly.
I am mashing this around in my head because I recall our first state tournament. We had never been there before and I had never played a sport so I had no expectations whatsoever. I was merely thrilled to be there. I remember talking with the coach briefly about the upcoming games and trying to size up our chances of any kind of success. It turned out that we not only had a good chance, we were "State Champs" that year.
This year with 3 tournaments under our belt and 2 previous championships, I find my nerves getting to me if I think too far ahead. The sad part about this is that if I don't get them under control, I am going to miss the excitement of simply being at the tournament. On the other hand, I get the nerves because we've had a successful regular season and we do have a legitimate shot at that coveted title again.
I've watched the kids go through these before and I prefer their attitude to some extent. In most games, win or lose, about 10 minutes after the game they're back to just being kids. They leave that emotional baggage on the floor and go on with life as if they'd never been in a heated contest.
So here's to a good tournament for every team, a fun time for all the parents, family and friends and may the best team come home "State Champs."
Monday, February 15, 2010
But for the Grace of God II
Laura and I attended a funeral today of a good friend. He was 49 and died in a snowmobile related accident. He was a good friend who helped our family with lots of building projects over the years. He was a man of God who took trips to other countries to help others by using his carpentry skills.
We went to the reviewal last night and I was struck by several things. First, Pete lived a full life. Yes it's a cliche,' but it was very evident in the photos they had displayed. He loved his wife and kids and did a LOT of things with them. He loved his work and did a LOT for others. He loved ministry and he did a LOT for others.
Second, as I approached the casket, I was noticing his hands. I looked at his hands and realized how much love he conveyed through the use of his hands. He loved people by building things. He loved his family by building things and doing things with his hands. He loved his friends by doing things with his hands. We were recipients of that love. We have a piece of Pete in our home. He built a bathroom, a bedroom and prepared the elevator shaft. He taught me how to lay out and connect my sprinkler system. Those pieces of Pete are still here even though he now resides in heaven. What a privilege to have those pieces here.
Today at the funeral, we walked in moments before it started. We were ushered to a front row seat because that's all that was open. What an honor to be so close to our friend and his family during these moments. We witnessed tears and laughter, sorrow and joy as we saw them send Pete on to be with Jesus. It was encouraging to witness the anchor that his family had in Jesus Christ. That anchor gave them hope during this very difficult time.
Once again I want to state that I KNOW God is in control, but I certainly don't understand things like this.
Why do I tell you all of this personal stuff? Because once again, I am filled with these overwhelming thoughts regarding life. Why am I so blessed to live today? I'm not more special than my friend. And it's not that I want to die, I don't. I enjoy life. I have a great life. But the thoughts continue to boggle my mind that some die young and some do not. We do NOT get to choose the day we die anymore than we chose the day we were born.
I thank God that He accepted me as His child so many years ago. I thank God that if I die, I will spend eternity with Him. I have no doubt about this. At the very same time, I also experience enormous frustration that my friend's wife is without her husband and his kids are without their dad.
This is a very difficult emotional ride to take and I'm only the friend. I'm not the wife or the kids. Their pain has to be exponentially deeper than mine. Today I grieve the loss of my friend. I grieve for his wife and children. I grieve for all of those who have been touched by Pete and will no longer be able to receive blessings from him.
Even though I grieve, I still hold on to the hope I have in Jesus. That hope tells me that I will see my friend again some day. I am very interested to see what Pete is building in heaven with tools that always work! I am thankful for that hope during this time.
To wrap up this post I ask this question, "Are you ready to die?" Seriously, are you? You do NOT get to choose when you die. Where will you spend eternity if you were taken from this planet tomorrow? As for me, I WILL be with God. I will be in heaven and I will be living in His eternal glory.
I hope you have it figured out. If you don't, ask Jesus to come in and be the Lord of your life. Then you'll have the same guarantee that my friend Pete and I do.
We went to the reviewal last night and I was struck by several things. First, Pete lived a full life. Yes it's a cliche,' but it was very evident in the photos they had displayed. He loved his wife and kids and did a LOT of things with them. He loved his work and did a LOT for others. He loved ministry and he did a LOT for others.
Second, as I approached the casket, I was noticing his hands. I looked at his hands and realized how much love he conveyed through the use of his hands. He loved people by building things. He loved his family by building things and doing things with his hands. He loved his friends by doing things with his hands. We were recipients of that love. We have a piece of Pete in our home. He built a bathroom, a bedroom and prepared the elevator shaft. He taught me how to lay out and connect my sprinkler system. Those pieces of Pete are still here even though he now resides in heaven. What a privilege to have those pieces here.
Today at the funeral, we walked in moments before it started. We were ushered to a front row seat because that's all that was open. What an honor to be so close to our friend and his family during these moments. We witnessed tears and laughter, sorrow and joy as we saw them send Pete on to be with Jesus. It was encouraging to witness the anchor that his family had in Jesus Christ. That anchor gave them hope during this very difficult time.
Once again I want to state that I KNOW God is in control, but I certainly don't understand things like this.
Why do I tell you all of this personal stuff? Because once again, I am filled with these overwhelming thoughts regarding life. Why am I so blessed to live today? I'm not more special than my friend. And it's not that I want to die, I don't. I enjoy life. I have a great life. But the thoughts continue to boggle my mind that some die young and some do not. We do NOT get to choose the day we die anymore than we chose the day we were born.
I thank God that He accepted me as His child so many years ago. I thank God that if I die, I will spend eternity with Him. I have no doubt about this. At the very same time, I also experience enormous frustration that my friend's wife is without her husband and his kids are without their dad.
This is a very difficult emotional ride to take and I'm only the friend. I'm not the wife or the kids. Their pain has to be exponentially deeper than mine. Today I grieve the loss of my friend. I grieve for his wife and children. I grieve for all of those who have been touched by Pete and will no longer be able to receive blessings from him.
Even though I grieve, I still hold on to the hope I have in Jesus. That hope tells me that I will see my friend again some day. I am very interested to see what Pete is building in heaven with tools that always work! I am thankful for that hope during this time.
To wrap up this post I ask this question, "Are you ready to die?" Seriously, are you? You do NOT get to choose when you die. Where will you spend eternity if you were taken from this planet tomorrow? As for me, I WILL be with God. I will be in heaven and I will be living in His eternal glory.
I hope you have it figured out. If you don't, ask Jesus to come in and be the Lord of your life. Then you'll have the same guarantee that my friend Pete and I do.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
But for the Grace of God
Like many of you, I've been greatly impacted by the devastating news in Haiti these last weeks. Many of the news reports have moved me to tears. I can't begin to imagine the extreme emptiness and hopelessness that many people there must feel during this time. I can't comprehend what it would be like if I had to try and provide for my family in those conditions.
I also end up having a LOT of questions. I know that God is in control and yet it becomes difficult to understand why things like this happen. Like many others, I have feelings of "survivors guilt." I ask why I am so blessed to have what I do when others have had so much taken from them.
Those unanswerable questions could plague me for the rest of my days. They could take away any hope for the future or could even destroy my faith. But the reality is that there will ALWAYS be unanswerable questions. There are just some things that are beyond our understanding. While I try not to merely "sweep them under the rug," I also know that dwelling on them endlessly is vanity.
So I've wrestled through the questions, I've cried my tears and now I want to take some actions to help. First and foremost, I can always pray. There are many people providing support in Haiti and they need our prayers. The victims need our prayers. If there are more survivors not yet found, they need our prayers. Secondly, we were privileged to go to "Feed My Starving Children" one evening with Vicki's Girl Scout troop. We packed food for an hour, but that hour will support many lives. And lastly, there are many, many dollars needed to continue the recovery effort. Now that Haiti is not top news, it will quickly fade into the background of other "hot stories." I urge you to find a tried and true mission organization that can bring both practical needs and hope in God. For us, that will be Samaritan's Purse. They are an amazing group who are well organized and are meeting physical and spiritual needs.
And I've come to a peace knowing that God himself will decide how long I stay on this rock. Until that day, I want to continue to work to serve Him as best as I know how.
I also end up having a LOT of questions. I know that God is in control and yet it becomes difficult to understand why things like this happen. Like many others, I have feelings of "survivors guilt." I ask why I am so blessed to have what I do when others have had so much taken from them.
Those unanswerable questions could plague me for the rest of my days. They could take away any hope for the future or could even destroy my faith. But the reality is that there will ALWAYS be unanswerable questions. There are just some things that are beyond our understanding. While I try not to merely "sweep them under the rug," I also know that dwelling on them endlessly is vanity.
So I've wrestled through the questions, I've cried my tears and now I want to take some actions to help. First and foremost, I can always pray. There are many people providing support in Haiti and they need our prayers. The victims need our prayers. If there are more survivors not yet found, they need our prayers. Secondly, we were privileged to go to "Feed My Starving Children" one evening with Vicki's Girl Scout troop. We packed food for an hour, but that hour will support many lives. And lastly, there are many, many dollars needed to continue the recovery effort. Now that Haiti is not top news, it will quickly fade into the background of other "hot stories." I urge you to find a tried and true mission organization that can bring both practical needs and hope in God. For us, that will be Samaritan's Purse. They are an amazing group who are well organized and are meeting physical and spiritual needs.
And I've come to a peace knowing that God himself will decide how long I stay on this rock. Until that day, I want to continue to work to serve Him as best as I know how.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
What about the kids?
We've all read or heard the news about Tiger Woods and his alleged affairs. Perhaps you've heard or read the news about war in the Congo. Perhaps you've read about the piles of bodies in the morgues in Nigeria. How about the skyrocketing deficit in our country? Or the failure of many to pay their debts by filing for bankruptcy? Or the endless kidnappings, rapes, and murders? You've no doubt read or heard about death, divorce, financial issues and drugs over and over again.
In some strange way all of these stories fascinate us to some extent. There's a curiosity factor in them. However, in spite of the fascination, regardless of the headlines there seems to be something conspicuously missing from these stories. The reports seem to be glaring in their omissions. Well they are to me anyway. The children. What about the children?
In all of these stories there are children affected. Tiger's children are going to suffer for his behavior. There are children in the Congo that are missing. The bodies in the morgue are actually children. Today's debt is going to be left for our children. And think of the countless souls that have suffered at the hand of adults.
When do we, the adults who are supposed to know better, start thinking about the children? When do we put aside selfish ambitions, attitudes and ideas to consider those little humans who are looking to us for wisdom, care and love?
It's way too easy to do what we want and then try and deal with the consequences later. Don't you think that if we always said "how will my actions affect the children?" that we would change many of our actions?
So how did we get here? Consider that we feed ourselves a steady diet of rubbish in our music, our television, our movies, the internet, and our video games. And then we try to act as responsible human beings. We pump out porn and rubbish on the airways and then complain when someone molests another human being. We worship people that are good at *playing games,* aka sports figures, while we leave our churches empty. We allow these so called heros a "free pass" for their transgressions if they can keep it together on the field. We spend so much time making money that we don't have time to actually play with the kids.
With all of these things, we neglect to consider the impact on the children. I don't end up seeing the worst of the worst and yet I encounter children who are being neglected, or fed a steady diet of rubbish more often than I'd like. How will we ever turn it around? When is enough, enough? How many have to suffer or die before we stop?
Well I say start tomorrow. With everything you do start asking the question "How will my actions affect the children I encounter?" Don't think it matters? What have you got to lose? The children are already suffering and dying.
In case you think these words are simply man made musings, consider this verse from the book of James in the Bible- "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
If God cares, maybe we should too.
In some strange way all of these stories fascinate us to some extent. There's a curiosity factor in them. However, in spite of the fascination, regardless of the headlines there seems to be something conspicuously missing from these stories. The reports seem to be glaring in their omissions. Well they are to me anyway. The children. What about the children?
In all of these stories there are children affected. Tiger's children are going to suffer for his behavior. There are children in the Congo that are missing. The bodies in the morgue are actually children. Today's debt is going to be left for our children. And think of the countless souls that have suffered at the hand of adults.
When do we, the adults who are supposed to know better, start thinking about the children? When do we put aside selfish ambitions, attitudes and ideas to consider those little humans who are looking to us for wisdom, care and love?
It's way too easy to do what we want and then try and deal with the consequences later. Don't you think that if we always said "how will my actions affect the children?" that we would change many of our actions?
So how did we get here? Consider that we feed ourselves a steady diet of rubbish in our music, our television, our movies, the internet, and our video games. And then we try to act as responsible human beings. We pump out porn and rubbish on the airways and then complain when someone molests another human being. We worship people that are good at *playing games,* aka sports figures, while we leave our churches empty. We allow these so called heros a "free pass" for their transgressions if they can keep it together on the field. We spend so much time making money that we don't have time to actually play with the kids.
With all of these things, we neglect to consider the impact on the children. I don't end up seeing the worst of the worst and yet I encounter children who are being neglected, or fed a steady diet of rubbish more often than I'd like. How will we ever turn it around? When is enough, enough? How many have to suffer or die before we stop?
Well I say start tomorrow. With everything you do start asking the question "How will my actions affect the children I encounter?" Don't think it matters? What have you got to lose? The children are already suffering and dying.
In case you think these words are simply man made musings, consider this verse from the book of James in the Bible- "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
If God cares, maybe we should too.
Monday, September 14, 2009
How "rich" are you?
Each day I read horrible things going on in our world. Tragedies that I don't even want to recount here. Each time I read something, I think "Wow! I have been given so much!" Recently I was told that I am a rich man. I want to tell you how really rich I am.
I have enough food each day. I've never gone hungry. I have a home that is very comfortable and clean. I sleep on a bed every night. I have money to buy clothing for our family. We have heat to keep us warm and air conditioning to keep us cool. I have all of my material needs met and most of what I want.
I have a wife who is not only my mate and confidant, but my lover and best friend. She works so hard to take care of our family that I could fill many pages with the details and at the end of a busy day, guess who she wants to hang out with? Me! After 23 plus years of marriage, she still wants to be with ME! It really truly doesn't get better than that!
I have kids that teach me things every day. Sometimes I have to repeat the lessons because I just don't learn very well the first time. But I have them there to help me learn. They also show me amazing things that I would not otherwise take the time to watch.
I have my health. I know a LOT of people that are not very healthy. They have medicine for this or go to doctors for that. My own kids struggle with that issue.
I have choices. I can choose what to do with my time or my money. I can come and go as I please. I have freedom and I am reminded often that many others (primarily our military) have paid the price so I could be free.
I have tools to help me get jobs done. I have friends to call when I need help. I have good neighbors who look out for my kids.
I get the privilege of looking in on various lives that I encounter. Sometimes I can give some guidance along the way so they can avoid the pitfalls I've experienced. Other times I can merely be there and listen. It's an incredible honor when someone invites me to be a part of their world.
I have a faith that guides me day by day. There are SO MANY lost souls in this world. They are trying this or that as they desperately look for some kind of fulfillment. Sadly, most of what they try comes up short and leaves them empty. I really can not imagine where my life would be without my faith in Jesus Christ.
So you can see what was told to me recently is true - I am a rich man.
I have enough food each day. I've never gone hungry. I have a home that is very comfortable and clean. I sleep on a bed every night. I have money to buy clothing for our family. We have heat to keep us warm and air conditioning to keep us cool. I have all of my material needs met and most of what I want.
I have a wife who is not only my mate and confidant, but my lover and best friend. She works so hard to take care of our family that I could fill many pages with the details and at the end of a busy day, guess who she wants to hang out with? Me! After 23 plus years of marriage, she still wants to be with ME! It really truly doesn't get better than that!
I have kids that teach me things every day. Sometimes I have to repeat the lessons because I just don't learn very well the first time. But I have them there to help me learn. They also show me amazing things that I would not otherwise take the time to watch.
I have my health. I know a LOT of people that are not very healthy. They have medicine for this or go to doctors for that. My own kids struggle with that issue.
I have choices. I can choose what to do with my time or my money. I can come and go as I please. I have freedom and I am reminded often that many others (primarily our military) have paid the price so I could be free.
I have tools to help me get jobs done. I have friends to call when I need help. I have good neighbors who look out for my kids.
I get the privilege of looking in on various lives that I encounter. Sometimes I can give some guidance along the way so they can avoid the pitfalls I've experienced. Other times I can merely be there and listen. It's an incredible honor when someone invites me to be a part of their world.
I have a faith that guides me day by day. There are SO MANY lost souls in this world. They are trying this or that as they desperately look for some kind of fulfillment. Sadly, most of what they try comes up short and leaves them empty. I really can not imagine where my life would be without my faith in Jesus Christ.
So you can see what was told to me recently is true - I am a rich man.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Just the facts man!
The Administration of our recently elected 'savior of the world' is really worried that you don't have the facts about health care reform. They are so worried that they sent out an email telling you to watch various videos that will give you 'just the facts.'
Well I don't trust our beloved Administration so I sought out 'just the facts' myself. All of these facts come from the current version of H.R. 3200.
Fact number 1. This will cost us money we don't have (i.e we have to borrow it). Read the facts:
Sec 222 Premiums and Financing
"(2) START-UP FUNDING-
(A) IN GENERAL- In order to provide for the establishment of the public health insurance option there is hereby appropriated to the Secretary, out of any funds in the Treasury not otherwise appropriated, $2,000,000,000. In order to provide for initial claims reserves before the collection of premiums, there is hereby appropriated to the Secretary, out of any funds in the Treasury not otherwise appropriated, such sums as necessary to cover 90 days worth of claims reserves based on projected enrollment.
(B) AMORTIZATION OF START-UP FUNDING- The Secretary shall provide for the repayment of the startup funding provided under subparagraph (A) to the Treasury in an amortized manner over the 10-year period beginning with Y1.
(C) LIMITATION ON FUNDING- Nothing in this section shall be construed as authorizing any additional appropriations to the Account, other than such amounts as are otherwise provided with respect to other Exchange-participating health benefits plans."
This is JUST for the public health insurance option. 2 BILLION plus enough to cover 90 days worth of claims. In other words, we don't know exactly how much. And then we're SUPPOSED to pay back the money. HA! We can't service the debt we have now! Here's one snipet from the Congressional Budget Office website:
"CBO estimates that the federal government incurred a deficit of $1.3 trillion in the first 10 months of fiscal year 2009. Outlays were $526 billion greater than those in the October-July period last year, while revenues have fallen by $353 billion."
So we're spending more than we take in, we're already in debt and the Administration wants to add another 2 plus billion JUST for the Public Option. Can ANY economics major tell me how this is viable? Without Voodoo economics?
Fact number 2: You WILL be taxed no matter what.
Section 207 Health Insurance Exchange Trust Fund
(side note when the government says "Trust Fund" you shouldn't)
"(1) DEDICATED PAYMENTS- There is hereby appropriated to the Trust Fund amounts equivalent to the following:
(A) TAXES ON INDIVIDUALS NOT OBTAINING ACCEPTABLE COVERAGE- The amounts received in the Treasury under section 59B of the Internal Revenue Code of 1986 (relating to requirement of health insurance coverage for individuals)."
Whether you want coverage or not, you WILL pay a tax. That means if you opt for ANY alternative type 'insurance' plan that doesn't meet their standards, you pay.
Fact number 3: INCREASED government
"SEC. 141. HEALTH CHOICES ADMINISTRATION; HEALTH CHOICES COMMISSIONER.
(a) In General- There is hereby established, as an independent agency in the executive branch of the Government, a Health Choices Administration (in this division referred to as the ‘Administration’).
(b) Commissioner-
(1) IN GENERAL- The Administration shall be headed by a Health Choices Commissioner (in this division referred to as the ‘Commissioner’) who shall be appointed by the President, by and with the advice and consent of the Senate.
(2) COMPENSATION; ETC- The provisions of paragraphs (2), (5), and (7) of subsection (a) (relating to compensation, terms, general powers, rulemaking, and delegation) of section 702 of the Social Security Act (42 U.S.C. 902) shall apply to the Commissioner and the Administration in the same manner as such provisions apply to the Commissioner of Social Security and the Social Security Administration."
If we have to pay this newly appointed clown, then it's increased government.
OK folks, there you have it 3 FACTS coming right out of H.R. 3200.
Don't let anyone fool you. There are serious problems with this bill and these are but 3 of them.
Well I don't trust our beloved Administration so I sought out 'just the facts' myself. All of these facts come from the current version of H.R. 3200.
Fact number 1. This will cost us money we don't have (i.e we have to borrow it). Read the facts:
Sec 222 Premiums and Financing
"(2) START-UP FUNDING-
(A) IN GENERAL- In order to provide for the establishment of the public health insurance option there is hereby appropriated to the Secretary, out of any funds in the Treasury not otherwise appropriated, $2,000,000,000. In order to provide for initial claims reserves before the collection of premiums, there is hereby appropriated to the Secretary, out of any funds in the Treasury not otherwise appropriated, such sums as necessary to cover 90 days worth of claims reserves based on projected enrollment.
(B) AMORTIZATION OF START-UP FUNDING- The Secretary shall provide for the repayment of the startup funding provided under subparagraph (A) to the Treasury in an amortized manner over the 10-year period beginning with Y1.
(C) LIMITATION ON FUNDING- Nothing in this section shall be construed as authorizing any additional appropriations to the Account, other than such amounts as are otherwise provided with respect to other Exchange-participating health benefits plans."
This is JUST for the public health insurance option. 2 BILLION plus enough to cover 90 days worth of claims. In other words, we don't know exactly how much. And then we're SUPPOSED to pay back the money. HA! We can't service the debt we have now! Here's one snipet from the Congressional Budget Office website:
"CBO estimates that the federal government incurred a deficit of $1.3 trillion in the first 10 months of fiscal year 2009. Outlays were $526 billion greater than those in the October-July period last year, while revenues have fallen by $353 billion."
So we're spending more than we take in, we're already in debt and the Administration wants to add another 2 plus billion JUST for the Public Option. Can ANY economics major tell me how this is viable? Without Voodoo economics?
Fact number 2: You WILL be taxed no matter what.
Section 207 Health Insurance Exchange Trust Fund
(side note when the government says "Trust Fund" you shouldn't)
"(1) DEDICATED PAYMENTS- There is hereby appropriated to the Trust Fund amounts equivalent to the following:
(A) TAXES ON INDIVIDUALS NOT OBTAINING ACCEPTABLE COVERAGE- The amounts received in the Treasury under section 59B of the Internal Revenue Code of 1986 (relating to requirement of health insurance coverage for individuals)."
Whether you want coverage or not, you WILL pay a tax. That means if you opt for ANY alternative type 'insurance' plan that doesn't meet their standards, you pay.
Fact number 3: INCREASED government
"SEC. 141. HEALTH CHOICES ADMINISTRATION; HEALTH CHOICES COMMISSIONER.
(a) In General- There is hereby established, as an independent agency in the executive branch of the Government, a Health Choices Administration (in this division referred to as the ‘Administration’).
(b) Commissioner-
(1) IN GENERAL- The Administration shall be headed by a Health Choices Commissioner (in this division referred to as the ‘Commissioner’) who shall be appointed by the President, by and with the advice and consent of the Senate.
(2) COMPENSATION; ETC- The provisions of paragraphs (2), (5), and (7) of subsection (a) (relating to compensation, terms, general powers, rulemaking, and delegation) of section 702 of the Social Security Act (42 U.S.C. 902) shall apply to the Commissioner and the Administration in the same manner as such provisions apply to the Commissioner of Social Security and the Social Security Administration."
If we have to pay this newly appointed clown, then it's increased government.
OK folks, there you have it 3 FACTS coming right out of H.R. 3200.
Don't let anyone fool you. There are serious problems with this bill and these are but 3 of them.
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