Full Circle

Yesterday I realized we had come full circle. I went to Vicki's first day of "school" at her new transition program. Let me start by saying the staff was great! Vicki will do just fine with them. They were enthusiastic and interested and engaged! We've had good staff for most of the years she's been in school so we've been very happy.

What upset me was the fact that I was doing the same thing I have done for the last 13 years - training someone on Vicki's technology to get her through her day. In addition to that, Vicki was doing the same thing yesterday that she has done for the last 13 years. Waiting, while I talked with her staff.

I also realized that she will be doing *many* of the same things she was doing 13 years ago - working on driving her chair, working on communicating with her electronic talker, waiting for someone to assist her with cares.

It was enormously frustrating to realize that she's been in school for all these years and she's still doing many of the same things she did as a 6 year old. It's not that good people haven't been working with her, it's not that she hasn't had good opportunities in a wide variety of settings. It's merely that her disability has kept her from progressing in many areas.

It seems to cap off the feelings I had at graduation. The rest of her peers are moving on while she remains pretty much where she was when she entered kindergarten. It's an enormously frustrating feeling. I want so much more for my daughter and yet it seems after all these years we are right back where we started.