You may have read the Fox 9 report on Friday April 20 regarding the Vikings Stadium. In it, the commissioner of the NFL, Roger Goddell, is quoted as saying "the time is now" for a Vikings stadium bill to get done.
Minnesota lawmakers were also quoted:
”The reality check is this is the year to do it,” Sen. Julie Rosen said. “We cannot wait until next year.”
"We cannot have this decision delayed another year,” said Rep. Morrie Lanning. “It's time for Minnesota to make a decision.”
It's interesting but I agree with their quotes. Yep, "the time is now," "The reality check is this is the year to it," "We cannot wait until next year." "We cannot have this decision delayed another year," "It's time for Minnesota to make a decision." What they've got wrong is the topic. It's not the Vikings stadium, it's providing adequate services to people with disabilities.
I agree that the time is now for Minnesota to make a decision about whether or not they value the citizens of this state that can not care for themselves or need assistance to navigate their daily lives. 'We can not wait until next year' as we watch single mothers struggle to make ends meet while trying desperately to care for their disabled child. 'We can not have this decision delayed another year' while individuals sit at home in their wheelchair waiting for someone to help them use the toilet because their PCA (personal care attendant) funding was cut or eliminated.
The NFL commissioner went on to warn the governor that inaction on the stadium brings "serious consequences" for both the Vikings and the NFL.
"Serious consequences?" What? like job loss or the team has to move? Yes those are hard things, but "serious consequences"? How about the serious consequences of choosing between food and medications? How about the serious consequences of getting a kidney infection that leads to kidney failure because you couldn't get to the toilet in a timely manner? How about the serious consequences of giving your child the wrong medicine that almost kills them because of severe sleep deprivation from being up for 36 hours at a time?
Come on commissioner, let's get real. Teams move. Look at the Browns, um I mean Ravens. Seems to me they were once in Cleveland. Hmm, I think that city now has a team called the Browns. Looks like even after all of the 'serious consequences' it worked out for two cities when the Browns moved.
Alright so I ranted about the stadium issue, but what about a solution for both parties? After all, I'm not in favor of folks losing their jobs even if it is related to football.
I can't believe that there isn't anyone in this state smart enough to come up with a proposal that will allow a stadium to be built AND get some additional funding for those folks who literally can NOT take care of themselves?
I keep hearing that there's no good way to structure the tax burden we will have to impose to get a stadium built. Why on earth does it have to be taxes? Look, either stadiums are money makers or they're not. Based on all of the talk, I'd say they're not. However, the owner of any sports team stands to gain a PILE of money if he/she can sell the team with a new stadium.
So instead of making the citizens of this state pay for the stadium, let the owners borrow the money from the state. I'm sure you've heard of the concept - take out a loan to build a house or make improvements on it. Then you have the owner pay back the loan WITH INTEREST. Take the interest from the loan and put it into programs for our most needy citizens.
This will make everyone happy - the owner and the team get a new home. The owner is set to make a PILE of money when he/she sells the team. The disabled get the services they need from the interest of the loan.
The commissioner is right - "The time is now." We need to take care of our most vulnerable and if the Vikings get to play their game in the process, I'm all for it.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Good Dad Days
As with most parenting, really, really good days are few and far between.
I've had a couple this last winter that I wanted to share with you.
The first involves the 7 year old. He loves to play goalie when it comes to hockey. At the beginning of the season, he was told that his goalie training this year would involve "skating out" as the team had already been assigned a goalie and it wasn't him. He took it in stride and became one of the "skaters."
I helped him dress for the first game of his season last fall. As I was going to fill his water bottle, one of the assistant coaches stopped me and said, "It looks like Andrew might have to play goalie." I said, "Why?" It turns out our goalie hadn't shown up yet. I told the coach that Andrew would do it, but I didn't want to tell him and then take it away from him so we should wait until the last minute in case the goalie showed up.
With 10 minutes to go before game time, guess what happened? The goalie didn't show up. I told Andrew he was going to be goalie and he pumped his fist while saying a big "Yesssssss!" We quickly changed him from a skater to a goalie with some help.
As he got on the ice, I thought about the fact that he had not practiced goalie for about 6 weeks or so. I figured if the other team scored 5 or fewer goals, that would be a good game for Andrew. By the end of the 1st period, he had a shutout! By the end of the second, his team was up 2-1! Mid way into the 3rd, our team scored again. I was getting nervous and excited because he was doing so well! All of the parents around me were impressed with his play. The other team got one more break away - their 5th - and this time they scored. Andrew had stopped the other 4 breakaways! The final was 3-2 our favor!
At this point, I must back up and mention that the goalie showed up during the 2nd period. The coach left him on the bench for the entire game.
In the locker room, Andrew was getting a LOT of high fives and "atta boys." He had played very well. I was very proud.
When we got to the car, I congratulated him one more time and told him how proud I was of his play and the fact that he was willing to play goalie even though he had not been chosen to be the regular goalie. At that point he said that he was a little sad. "Why," I said. He replied that he was sad because the regular goalie had not gotten to play at all. I said, "Andrew! I am MORE proud of the fact that you cared what happened to your teammate than the fact that you played well. I am very impressed."
Here was a 7 year old who had played phenomenally for his age and had received a lot of praise for doing so and his biggest concern was how his teammate was feeling. I would love to tell you that I taught him that, but I can't. He may have learned it from me, but more likely it is something God built into him. Wow!
The second large proud dad day was this week. Our oldest who is almost 22 has been an intern at a local company since September. This week was his second "mid-rotation" review. It's a time where his real supervisor talks with us about his job performance. The first review he had last fall in the "building and grounds" area was moderate. His supervisor had some good things to say and some areas to work on.
The supervisor from this rotation in the kitchen walked in and said that he had no complaints so we could all leave the meeting room. He was actually pretty serious. He went on to say that Josh has mastered everything that he has asked him to do! He practically guaranteed that if a company called for a reference for Josh, he would ensure Josh would get the job! This was a dramatic improvement from his first rotation.
We learned that Josh likes the area better. We learned that tasks that are in a predictable order each day are better for Josh. He still likes some variability, but if it's in a specific pattern, he works hard and gets the job done - even when some speed is required - a very hard thing most of the time.
He had even taken some initiative to complete an extra task that was not required of him! We have been working on initiative for a LONG time.
When I left the building and got in the car, I was so pumped that I cried! Yep, I couldn't believe what I had just heard. It was very rewarding to know that the time Laura and I have spent working with him had shown some dividends.
As I said at the top of this post - Good Dad Days are few and far between, but these two will be etched in my mind for a long time!
I've had a couple this last winter that I wanted to share with you.
The first involves the 7 year old. He loves to play goalie when it comes to hockey. At the beginning of the season, he was told that his goalie training this year would involve "skating out" as the team had already been assigned a goalie and it wasn't him. He took it in stride and became one of the "skaters."
I helped him dress for the first game of his season last fall. As I was going to fill his water bottle, one of the assistant coaches stopped me and said, "It looks like Andrew might have to play goalie." I said, "Why?" It turns out our goalie hadn't shown up yet. I told the coach that Andrew would do it, but I didn't want to tell him and then take it away from him so we should wait until the last minute in case the goalie showed up.
With 10 minutes to go before game time, guess what happened? The goalie didn't show up. I told Andrew he was going to be goalie and he pumped his fist while saying a big "Yesssssss!" We quickly changed him from a skater to a goalie with some help.
As he got on the ice, I thought about the fact that he had not practiced goalie for about 6 weeks or so. I figured if the other team scored 5 or fewer goals, that would be a good game for Andrew. By the end of the 1st period, he had a shutout! By the end of the second, his team was up 2-1! Mid way into the 3rd, our team scored again. I was getting nervous and excited because he was doing so well! All of the parents around me were impressed with his play. The other team got one more break away - their 5th - and this time they scored. Andrew had stopped the other 4 breakaways! The final was 3-2 our favor!
At this point, I must back up and mention that the goalie showed up during the 2nd period. The coach left him on the bench for the entire game.
In the locker room, Andrew was getting a LOT of high fives and "atta boys." He had played very well. I was very proud.
When we got to the car, I congratulated him one more time and told him how proud I was of his play and the fact that he was willing to play goalie even though he had not been chosen to be the regular goalie. At that point he said that he was a little sad. "Why," I said. He replied that he was sad because the regular goalie had not gotten to play at all. I said, "Andrew! I am MORE proud of the fact that you cared what happened to your teammate than the fact that you played well. I am very impressed."
Here was a 7 year old who had played phenomenally for his age and had received a lot of praise for doing so and his biggest concern was how his teammate was feeling. I would love to tell you that I taught him that, but I can't. He may have learned it from me, but more likely it is something God built into him. Wow!
The second large proud dad day was this week. Our oldest who is almost 22 has been an intern at a local company since September. This week was his second "mid-rotation" review. It's a time where his real supervisor talks with us about his job performance. The first review he had last fall in the "building and grounds" area was moderate. His supervisor had some good things to say and some areas to work on.
The supervisor from this rotation in the kitchen walked in and said that he had no complaints so we could all leave the meeting room. He was actually pretty serious. He went on to say that Josh has mastered everything that he has asked him to do! He practically guaranteed that if a company called for a reference for Josh, he would ensure Josh would get the job! This was a dramatic improvement from his first rotation.
We learned that Josh likes the area better. We learned that tasks that are in a predictable order each day are better for Josh. He still likes some variability, but if it's in a specific pattern, he works hard and gets the job done - even when some speed is required - a very hard thing most of the time.
He had even taken some initiative to complete an extra task that was not required of him! We have been working on initiative for a LONG time.
When I left the building and got in the car, I was so pumped that I cried! Yep, I couldn't believe what I had just heard. It was very rewarding to know that the time Laura and I have spent working with him had shown some dividends.
As I said at the top of this post - Good Dad Days are few and far between, but these two will be etched in my mind for a long time!
Saturday, October 22, 2011
MN Vikings: That Doesn't Work for Us!
Perhaps you've heard that two Minnesota Lawmakers want to give the Metrodome to the Minnesota Vikings. What a brilliant idea! It's creative, it's new, it's fresh and it doesn't add a new tax burden to anyone in the state!
Unfortunately the Minnesota Vikings have said that won't work for them. They want, no they're now demanding a NEW stadium. "Even stadium opponents understand the facility no longer works for the team, our fans of the state," team spokesman Jeff Anderson said.
Well, Mr. Anderson, Mr. Wilf, Mr. Mondale and all the rest of you, do what the rest of us do, make it work!
It doesn't really work all of the people with disabilities that took a reduction to their budgets as of September 1st this year and will take another reduction July 1st 2012!
It doesn't work because they have less staff because the staff quit due to getting paid less, or they have to cut back in some other place just to take care of their family member who has a disability.
It doesn't work for those families who lost health care because the parents can't hold a full-time job because they're absent so much due to the poor health of their disabled child and they can't get state run insurance because they're just over the threshold to qualify.
It doesn't work for the adult children of aging parents who lost their home because the services that helped them take care of their parent were cut.
It doesn't work, but they make it work. They have no choice. They come up with creative solutions and have to find a way to make it work. It's time for you to do the same. You've been offered a gift. Take it. Christmas is here now. Take your gifts and be thankful.
Unfortunately the Minnesota Vikings have said that won't work for them. They want, no they're now demanding a NEW stadium. "Even stadium opponents understand the facility no longer works for the team, our fans of the state," team spokesman Jeff Anderson said.
Well, Mr. Anderson, Mr. Wilf, Mr. Mondale and all the rest of you, do what the rest of us do, make it work!
It doesn't really work all of the people with disabilities that took a reduction to their budgets as of September 1st this year and will take another reduction July 1st 2012!
It doesn't work because they have less staff because the staff quit due to getting paid less, or they have to cut back in some other place just to take care of their family member who has a disability.
It doesn't work for those families who lost health care because the parents can't hold a full-time job because they're absent so much due to the poor health of their disabled child and they can't get state run insurance because they're just over the threshold to qualify.
It doesn't work for the adult children of aging parents who lost their home because the services that helped them take care of their parent were cut.
It doesn't work, but they make it work. They have no choice. They come up with creative solutions and have to find a way to make it work. It's time for you to do the same. You've been offered a gift. Take it. Christmas is here now. Take your gifts and be thankful.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Full Circle
Yesterday I realized we had come full circle. I went to Vicki's first day of "school" at her new transition program. Let me start by saying the staff was great! Vicki will do just fine with them. They were enthusiastic and interested and engaged! We've had good staff for most of the years she's been in school so we've been very happy.
What upset me was the fact that I was doing the same thing I have done for the last 13 years - training someone on Vicki's technology to get her through her day. In addition to that, Vicki was doing the same thing yesterday that she has done for the last 13 years. Waiting, while I talked with her staff.
I also realized that she will be doing *many* of the same things she was doing 13 years ago - working on driving her chair, working on communicating with her electronic talker, waiting for someone to assist her with cares.
It was enormously frustrating to realize that she's been in school for all these years and she's still doing many of the same things she did as a 6 year old. It's not that good people haven't been working with her, it's not that she hasn't had good opportunities in a wide variety of settings. It's merely that her disability has kept her from progressing in many areas.
It seems to cap off the feelings I had at graduation. The rest of her peers are moving on while she remains pretty much where she was when she entered kindergarten. It's an enormously frustrating feeling. I want so much more for my daughter and yet it seems after all these years we are right back where we started.
What upset me was the fact that I was doing the same thing I have done for the last 13 years - training someone on Vicki's technology to get her through her day. In addition to that, Vicki was doing the same thing yesterday that she has done for the last 13 years. Waiting, while I talked with her staff.
I also realized that she will be doing *many* of the same things she was doing 13 years ago - working on driving her chair, working on communicating with her electronic talker, waiting for someone to assist her with cares.
It was enormously frustrating to realize that she's been in school for all these years and she's still doing many of the same things she did as a 6 year old. It's not that good people haven't been working with her, it's not that she hasn't had good opportunities in a wide variety of settings. It's merely that her disability has kept her from progressing in many areas.
It seems to cap off the feelings I had at graduation. The rest of her peers are moving on while she remains pretty much where she was when she entered kindergarten. It's an enormously frustrating feeling. I want so much more for my daughter and yet it seems after all these years we are right back where we started.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
JAF Family Retreat
One of the highlights of our summer for the last 3 years has been Joni and Friends Family Retreat. It is held at the Castaway Club in Detroit Lakes, MN. It is a beautiful campus and very accessible!
This year we were privileged to be a part of the training of the STM's - Short Term Missionaries. Laura, Vicki and I all had a chance to talk about our experience as campers and what it means to have the STM's come alongside us.
Because we were there early, we also got to help greet the campers. I enjoyed welcoming everyone, but especially two families that I had personally invited.
This year we were somewhere between campers and staff. Laura graciously gave massages for 2 hours when one of the scheduled therapists couldn't make it. I taught a break-out session on "future planning" - wills, trusts, guardianship and much more.
We experienced a great deal of freedom as our littlest boys know the camp and are very independent in what they want to do. Tim did the climbing wall and hung out at the beach. Andrew was on the inner tube and banana boat behind the speed boat, tried the big swing with Stephanie and did the zip line a few times.
The whole camp was treated to a "Fiesta Night." A couple came with salsa music and tried to teach us to salsa. They were amazingly patient and while I'm not sure how many of us did the actual steps, EVERYONE had fun and tried some form of dancing. The best part is that it didn't matter if you were in a wheelchair, walked with canes, or used your feet to get around, EVERYONE was included.
The fact that everyone who wanted to participate was included is one of the best things about Family Retreat. Nobody sits on the side because they're in a wheelchair or because they have a unique behavior. Instead everyone is embraced and welcomed.
One young man danced with everyone he could drag out there. At one point he came over to me and said "Are you a Bears fan?" I said, "Nooo, a Vikings fan!" "Well then," he said, "Get out there and dance!" I had such fun trying to keep up with his energy.
I want to make sure that you know how great the STM's are! They come to dedicate their time to our families. They help us get a break from some of the caring for our family members so we can go to worship and teaching and small group time. They come from all kinds of backgrounds, some very familiar with disability and some first timers. Regardless of their experience, they throw themselves into the person they are assigned to and just love them for the weekend.
That love that they give is not to be taken lightly. It's love that looks beyond an individual's behavior or need for care and looks at the PERSON. The STM's are truly an example of Christ's love for the world.
We had an amazing time and it goes by so fast!
In an earlier post I talked about the gaps between my daughter and her typical peers at graduation. Family Retreat is exactly the opposite. There are NO gaps here! There are only people who are celebrated for who they are. Unlike graduation where I couldn't wait to leave, I hate to leave Family Retreat.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Interview with Kare 11
Today we had another privilege in our journey of "Raising Prices." Kare 11 was doing a story on a national survey that The Arc had done regarding services for those who have disabilities. We were asked to be interviewed for that story that aired here at 4pm and 5pm.
While it was fun for us to do, the key reason for agreeing to do the interview was to raise awareness and advocate for ALL families who rely heavily on government services in order to care for their loved ones who have a disability.
Here's the story:
While it was fun for us to do, the key reason for agreeing to do the interview was to raise awareness and advocate for ALL families who rely heavily on government services in order to care for their loved ones who have a disability.
Here's the story:
Monday, June 6, 2011
Graduation?
Yesterday was a day that I will remember for a long time. It was filled with hoopla and giddiness and hope and excitement and nervousness and sadness and emptiness. Sadness and emptiness? Yes. Why? Because it was graduation.
I suppose you're thinking that I must be talking about the sadness and emptiness of watching your "baby" grow up and get ready to move on. Nope, not even close. It's a sadness and emptiness I had not expected. Sad and empty because the gaps between my daughter and her typical peers were magnified to such a degree that they hit me between the eyes once again.
While most of the kids and their parents are talking about heading off to college or the military or to get a job, we are talking about MANY of the same things we talked about when she started school - who will take care of her, how can we get her involved in such and such, what doctor's visits do we have coming up, etc.
It was actually hard to go through the ceremony. I really could not wait to get out of there. I wanted to leave because I didn't like the magnifying glass that showed so clearly all of the things my daughter was NOT going to do.
(I should point out that the amount of cheering from students and the audience was actually the loudest overall for the students in special ed. That was one positive I took away from the ceremony.)
Having waited two months to post this, I reviewed it to see if the emotions were still there or if it was an "in the moment" thing. Sadly, they're still there. The graduation ceremony is painful to think about.
On a more positive note, we did have a celebration for Vicki in mid July. About 100 people came and congratulated her. It was a special day for her and as my wife said, "it was a day to celebrate her life."
One of the things you become good at when you have a child with a disability is adapting things. We've adapted toys and games and equipment and now, we've adapted graduation. For Vicki, graduation was less about making it through 4 years of credit based classes and more about merely making it through. Sometimes even enduring the days of not wanting to be at school or feeling poorly or not feeling like she was a part of the larger picture of Andover High School. Graduation was merely a marker. A marker that says "you've made it this far, keep going."
I suppose you're thinking that I must be talking about the sadness and emptiness of watching your "baby" grow up and get ready to move on. Nope, not even close. It's a sadness and emptiness I had not expected. Sad and empty because the gaps between my daughter and her typical peers were magnified to such a degree that they hit me between the eyes once again.
While most of the kids and their parents are talking about heading off to college or the military or to get a job, we are talking about MANY of the same things we talked about when she started school - who will take care of her, how can we get her involved in such and such, what doctor's visits do we have coming up, etc.
It was actually hard to go through the ceremony. I really could not wait to get out of there. I wanted to leave because I didn't like the magnifying glass that showed so clearly all of the things my daughter was NOT going to do.
(I should point out that the amount of cheering from students and the audience was actually the loudest overall for the students in special ed. That was one positive I took away from the ceremony.)
Having waited two months to post this, I reviewed it to see if the emotions were still there or if it was an "in the moment" thing. Sadly, they're still there. The graduation ceremony is painful to think about.
On a more positive note, we did have a celebration for Vicki in mid July. About 100 people came and congratulated her. It was a special day for her and as my wife said, "it was a day to celebrate her life."
One of the things you become good at when you have a child with a disability is adapting things. We've adapted toys and games and equipment and now, we've adapted graduation. For Vicki, graduation was less about making it through 4 years of credit based classes and more about merely making it through. Sometimes even enduring the days of not wanting to be at school or feeling poorly or not feeling like she was a part of the larger picture of Andover High School. Graduation was merely a marker. A marker that says "you've made it this far, keep going."
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